The Accidental Author

Or how to write a book without really trying!


Of course you know that I am only kidding about writing a book without really trying. Writing is hard work, a very strenuous and taxing undertaking for anyone involved in such a venture. In my opinion, those involved should be rewarded and paid very handsomely, especially those that have written a book. And now, the rest of the story.


As some of you may or may not know I am in the process of having a book published. For me, that’s some pretty exciting stuff. Currently I write monthly columns in both the National BBQ News and the KCBS Bullsheet and have been regularly posting to this blog since December 2007. As a side note, I receive nary a penny for my monthly contributions to these fine monthly publications. My reward is knowing that the few people that read my monthly columns, find excitement, enjoyment, tranquility and inner peace each month from my written words. In other words, like all those big time artists claim, “I am not in it for the money, I am only in it for the satisfaction of knowing that others appreciate my work and for what I can do to further advance the greater good of all mankind.” Yup, that’s me, greater good of all mankind and all.


I didn’t really start out to write a book or to even write this blog, it all happened sort of by accident. What follows is the story, or what my failing memory can remember about the story on how I began. What I can’t remember, I will just evoke my literary license that I now possess. For those that are wondering, literary license means as an author, I can write the story any way I see fit. Sort of like a politician citing approval ratings, unemployment numbers or giving a budget report!


Wickipedia notes:
In summary, literary license is:
• Entirely at the writers discretion
• Intended to be tolerated by the reader (cf. "willing suspension of disbelief")
• Useful for filling in gaps, whether they be factual, compositional, historical or other gaps.
• Used consciously or unconsciously, intentionally or unintentionally or in tandem.

Not bad huh? Now, that is a license worth having!


Some of my regular readers will recall that my friend and BBQ mentor Steve Farin is the guy I have to blame/thank for my current BBQ addiction. Well, he is partly to blame/thank for this excursion into BBQ story telling that I currently find myself. Back in December of 2007 Steve was launching a blog site. He was going to include stories and pictures from all around the BBQ circuit.


Steve sent me an email asking for information or stories to post on his blog. Things were a little slow around the office at the time due to the Christmas Holiday season so I thought it might be neat to write a short story on how our team was started. I banged out the story and attempted to follow Steve’s instructions on how to add it to his blog. Being the internet and computer wiz that I am, I promptly went to the blog server page, opened a new blog account and posted my newly written story onto its own blog page. I never even got close to Steve’s page.


I was now a blogger and didn’t even know it. I sent Steve a note to tell him I posted my story on his blog and to see what he thought. To which he replied that he has not seen the story and has no idea where I could have posted it. A few more e mail exchanges and I realized what I had done. The simple solution would have been to go in and delete the new blog site, post on Steve’s site and be done with it. But, anyone that knows me would know I am not one to take the simple way out. I had some time on my hands, so why not scratch out another post or two, this could be fun. I could be a blogger. The beginning of the end is what it was!


I started to tell the story of how I came to get involved in competition BBQ cooking complete with suggestions and guidance to others that might be thinking of getting started. Back when I was planning on starting a team I searched around on the internet for available information for the nuts and bolts of starting a team. I found some information scattered about, but no concise one stop shop with the collection of pointers and info that I needed. I thought, while writing my blog, that I would give the readers, (both of them), a complete ‘how to’ guide on starting a BBQ team.


The posts would cover information that I had discovered through my own experience as well as info I had uncovered through my extensive research on the subject. As I told the story I also included recaps, results and mishaps from contests that my team had entered during its rookie year. While the number of posts began to grow, a funny thing began to happen; I started hearing from folks that had actually been reading my stuff. Most of the feedback I was getting was very positive. (Of course, there was that one guy that chased me down the street, but that is a story for another day) I even had some folks tell me what I already thought I knew, “I don’t think there are any books out there that cover how to start your own BBQ team, you ought to write a book.” How many times have you heard that one? This time was different, this time it was sounding like a good idea.


Now, I have to tell you the thought of writing a book had never crossed my mind. But the further I got into the project and the more research that I did, it started to appear that I might be onto something. As little as I knew about writing a book, I knew even less about having a book published. I searched the web and was overwhelmed with information dealing with publication companies.


Ray Lampe, better known as Dr BBQ is an accomplished writer and author. He is also a regular visitor to several of the BBQ forums that I visit from time to time. I dropped him a note to see if he would have moment to speak with me on the phone about my project. To my surprise, he did, and in February 2008 we spoke. Ray glanced at my blog and offered some thoughts to a fledging writer/blogger/wanna-be author.
I continued to work on my blog and as time moved on, I kept thinking about the book idea. Maybe it would work; there wasn’t anything like it out there. So I combined some of my posts along with some other info together and sent it along for a friend to edit. What the heck, I had nothing better to do.


A couple of months later, I received the edited copy back and set about to make the changes to my original draft. Once that was complete, I read and re-read what I had. It was good stuff, very informative, just a bit dry. It was like, maybe it could use a little salt and pepper. Something was needed to wake it up a bit, maybe a dash of cayenne pepper wold help. I had a bunch of other stories that I had written, some with a touch of humor, maybe I could add a few of the stories that were relevant to the particular information that was being given and see how that looks. What I ended up with was a combination of helpful information along with what I am calling ‘the lighter side” of starting a BBQ team, it seemed to work well together. Now what do I do?


Red Todd is a friend, a writer, and a darn good BBQ cook. He helped me with introductions to both the folks at KCBS and the NBBQN when I was thinking about writing monthly columns. Last year he self published a book containing many of his favorite recipes. I contacted Red and was advised how to self publish using the same company that he had used. I contacted Kristal Shade of Sherman’s Computer Service, Beach Creek PA, and was on the way to being self published.


I received the first shipment of my books in late July. I then began to send copies around to anyone I had an address for, just kidding. I did send out copies to folks that I had come to know while hanging out in the BBQ world for the past 3 years, asking for their thoughts and opinions. I even sold a few copies.


One afternoon my phone rang with a number that I didn’t recognize, it was Dave Dewitt, the former publisher of Fiery Foods and BBQ magazine. Dave is an accomplished writer/author and has written the forward in the first two of Dr BBQ cookbooks. I had sent Dave a copy of the book about 3 weeks prior. We spoke briefly on the phone, he said he glanced at my book and thought I might have something. He said that as far as he knew, there wasn’t anything like this book currently on the market. He then asked if I was looking for a publisher. Dave had a publisher friend out in Albuquerque NM that he had worked with in the past and they would be looking at the book and would be in touch in a couple of days.


To say I was shocked would be a huge understatement. Maybe it was all a dream. I ran downstairs and told Jo my wife what had just happened. The news was greeted by a large yawn along with the question, “what do you want for diner?” Maybe it WAS a dream. (Truth be told, without using literary license, she was very happy for me.)


A week came and went with not a word from Dave or his publisher friend. Was this the classic, don’t call me, I’ll call you scenario? I know, I’ll have my girl call your girl. The trouble was, I didn’t even have a girl, except for my wife Jo, and I know her well enough that she AIN’T answering any phone calls for me, that’s a fact! Boy, I am in trouble, no girl for me, who would his girl call? Maybe Jo would let me hire a young secretary for phone call answering only, hmmmm, maybe not, wouldn’t hurt to ask though would it?


Maybe I’ll call him, nah, best to wait. You have no idea how many times I picked up the phone. Finally almost a week and a half later, the call came. Dave said they had looked over my book and wanted to publish it, but first he had a few questions of me. “What were my expectations with the book?” Dave asked. I then launched into a five minute dissertation about how I just wanted to satisfy my readers hunger for information and try to accomplish something for the greater good along with a bunch of other horse hockey that I myself didn’t even believe. I could tell I lost him just after the “satisfy my readers” comment. As soon as he had the chance Dave asked the next and probably the most important question, “You aren’t expecting to get rich with this project are you?” As soon as I said “no” he seemed very pleased and ready to move onto the next step, a contract would be sent out shortly. Welcome to the world of published authors.


The next day the contact arrived via e mail. I read it over, signed and sent it back. I am on the road to being a published author of my own book. Pretty amazing if you ask me. I am told that the book will be released this spring. I have found that things move very slowly here in the book publishing world, even with a literary license.


Dave thinks there is market for a book on this topic, I hope he is right. Time will tell. I am looking forward to marketing the book and I hope that some folks might read it and become involved in this sport/lifestyle called competition BBQ. That would make it all worthwhile, for the greater good you understand.


I see in the fine print on the contract I signed that I may have to appear at book signings if requested. I knew I should have read that thing before I put my name on the dotted line. Book signings, I didn’t see that before, besides, who in the world would want me to ruin a brand new book by signing my name in it; I guess time will tell us that one as well!


Meanwhile I have a few ideas for my next book that I want to run by you when you have a minute, or maybe I’ll start a new blog, if I could only remember how I started this one, hmmmmm……Now, where did I put that license?

My book, entitled Startin the Fire is a detailed 'how to' guide on staring your own competition BBQ team and is on schedule to be released this spring. It will be available at www.watgbbq.com

JOS BBQ Cooking Class

Unadilla Georgia, here I come


This past weekend I traveled to Unadilla GA to attend a cooking class given by Myron Mixon of Jacks Old South fame. I flew into Atlanta Friday morning, had lunch in North Atlanta with an old friend, and then began the 100+ mile drive south to Unadilla. South of Macon, just off interstate 75, Unadilla is a sparsely populated town located in Dooley County Georgia.


After checking into my motel in Perry Georgia, I traveled another 10 miles south to Myron’s house located in Unadilla. Friday at 6 pm he had a ‘meet and greet’ on the schedule. I arrived around 6:15 and found the yard already packed with a large group of eager BBQ students from all over the Country. As soon as I set foot into the lighted area under the Ezy-ups I was greeted by one of Myron’s staff and the fine southern hospitality never stopped from that point forward.


Everyone was given a name tag and a goody bag while a few of Myron’s gang laid out a fish fry that really hit the spot after a long day of traveling. Myron made the rounds and greeted everyone personally, much of the discussion was centered on what you wanted to accomplish or learn in the next two days of his class.


After dinner and a few cold beers, I was ready to head back to the motel for some sack time as we were instructed to be back at 7:00 Saturday morning to begin to work on the whole hog. Most of the others were as tired as I was and also adjourned to their rooms to get some rest.


The following morning found all the students back on site, notebooks and cameras at the ready, as Myron and his team began to work on the 210 lb hog that was being readied for the cooker. From that point on, it was a full morning as Myron moved from hog to shoulder to the KCBS meats. We took a short break to eat some burgers and hot dogs before we began the afternoon session which went right up till dark.


As soon as the sun set, Myron’s crew spread out a low country boil for supper that was delicious. Not long after diner, folks started to drift off to their motels to get some much needed rest as we were told we had at least as much, if not more, material scheduled to be covered on Sunday.


As promised, Sunday morning we were right back at it as meats were finished and presentation boxes were made. During the entire session Myron was clear and very thorough with the information he was presenting. Many times adding in some of the famous ‘color’ that he has come to be known for around the BBQ circuits.


Myron Mixon is a 3 time World Champion that has won many contests in an assortment of sanctioning body’s all across the Country. He has been cooking competitively since 1996. With his trademark hairstyle and black shirt he has become one of the most easily recognizable figures in today’s BBQ World.


Some might say that he is not going to give up all his secrets to a BBQ class, whether he does or doesn’t, no one knows for sure. What I can tell you is this, he gives enough information to fill a spiral note book about ¾ full and that’s for a guy that is not a super note taker. He allows his students to take pictures and ask questions, appearing to hold nothing back. Myron will explain that teaching his students his current methods makes him work harder and get better in order to keep up with or beat the folks that he has taught. Makes sense to me.


The mix of people that were in the class ranged from complete novice non competition, never cooked BBQ before, to guys that have already won more than a few contest Grand Championships, and everything in between. If you ask me, hearing Myron Mixon give his MIM whole hog presentation was worth the price admission all by itself, not to mention sampling some mighty good tasting BBQ.


Overall, there was a lot of good information disseminated and a ton of questions answered. The information was presented and demonstrated in a clear and concise manor. Recipes, formulas and mixes were all given including all measurements and amounts. Sources and websites used to gather needed supplies and equipment was provided. Was information held back? I think not. Will Jacks Old South be doing their contest cooking exactly like presented next season? Maybe not, but I think it will be very close. Will Myron Mixon continue to work to improve his product each and every time out? Without a doubt, I believe he would be doing that even without giving the classes.


The huge question now is can I take any of the information and apply it to my competition cooks, only time will tell. What I do know is you could give 10 cooks all the same box of cake mixes, the same type of equipment, and you will get 10 different cakes, every time. I am hoping I can bake a cake somewhat similar to what I saw this weekend. I am looking forward to trying some of the things I was shown and plan to begin this Sunday. After all, there are only 150 days until Salisbury and I have a lot of work to do.


Additional note:
Be sure to watch December 3 at 10 pm on TLC for the new show called the BBQ Pitmasters. The series will be shown in 8 segments which includes BBQ contests from all around the Country. Highlighted teams include Jacks Old South, Cool Smoke, Woodchicks, Slap Yo Daddy and many more.

Diamond State BBQ Championship

Ain’t this suppose to be fun?
What’s with Mother Nature, doesn’t she like to Que?

The first two years we competed on the BBQ trail we cooked in a total of 11 contests. Out of those events, with the exception of a brief shower at Dover in 2007 during the tornado, we were operating in dry conditions. We had a lot of fun. This year was quite different.


April found us in Salisbury, no rain, but we had a huge wind gust come out of nowhere Friday afternoon and destroy a bunch of equipment including our brand new 10X20 canopy. In May we cooked in Green Lane PA, heavy rain the week before the event made the contest grounds a sponge, no rain fell while we were there, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.


June we signed up for an event to be held in a horse arena in Upper Marlboro MD. Again heavy rain preceding the contest day played heck with the set up conditions. Late Friday night we received torrential rain for about 1.5 hours, making for some interesting waterways and ponds around the entire contest area.


Our next contest was Bel Air in August, nearly perfect conditions, that was fun. Then came New Holland, the party was over. It rained all day Friday and on and off during Saturday morning and afternoon, the skies clearing just before awards. Most of the gear was put away wet and had to be dried after returning home, a royal pain.


Harrisburg PA was in early October, showers Friday evening and overnight caused a few minor adjustments, but overall, most of the equipment was dry before being packed. Dover DE was next on the list and up to be our last event for 2009. Looking at the forecast the week before the event would have one questioning ones sanity. Jo, my wife, even went as far as suggesting that we scratch, stay home and stay dry. “Never”, I think was my reply, besides, the weatherman is usually wrong in my book. What does he know?


To say it rained at Dover this year would be an understatement. It rained, it blew, then it rained some more. Couple the rain and wind with temps in the mid 40’s and you’ve got yourself some miserable conditions. Oh and did I mention the wind, steady at 10-15, gusts 25 to maybe 30, everything had to be tied down. At times, I felt the entire operation was going to lift off and sail into space, fortunately for us, it did not.


My point here is, this was not fun. We set up in the rain, cooked in the rain, slept in the rain, walked to the bathrooms in the rain, tore down in the rain, well, you get the picture. It even rained Sunday and Monday following the contest. The first dry day was Tuesday where things could be spread out to dry.


Now, don’t get me wrong. We made the best of the circumstances, but to say that this was an enjoyable weekend would be like saying it is fun to stand around in the same damp clothes for 2 days, fun, it ain’t. My question is, when would a forecast be dismal enough to say, “we aren’t going, we’re going to sit this one out”. I guess I will answer my own question, never. We like to cook too much, we enjoy the camaraderie, the friendship, the competition, if we are signed up for an event, we are going, no matter what. Some might say we have more heart than brains, and you know, I think that some would be right. Nevertheless, 81 teams braved the elements and cooked their hearts out in the rain at Dover this year and we were proud to be one of the field. The field, by the way, contained some of the premier teams from all around the Country, some from as far away as Texas and California.


The who are those guys? team finished the year with a 16th place overall finish at the Diamond State BBQ contest, nothing to scream about, but somewhat respectable considering the competition. And even though it took a week or so to dry out all of our equipment, we are all looking forward to next April when the BBQ season begins around these parts with the Pork in the Park contest at Winterhaven Park, Salisbury MD. Let’s just hope that it is a sunny weekend!

The Turn-in Window

10 minutes seems like forever…or does it?


If you think back to when you were in high school and the clock on the wall said there were10 minutes until dismissal, sometimes it almost seemed like time was going backwards. At the very least, it certainly seemed like time was standing still. In a KCBS BBQ contest you have a window of 10 minutes, 600 seconds, in which to submit your entry to the judges. To the non contestant, I am sure this seems like plenty of time. Most times it is, sometimes it’s just not enough.


The importance of time is stressed to the BBQ teams from the moment you decide to enter a contest. Most events require entry forms be submitted by a deadline date. When the information packet is sent to the head cooks, they are told what time to arrive on site, the times for the cooks meeting, when meat will be inspected, when turn-ins begin, even when you are allowed to leave for home. While at the cooks meeting, the contest reps again go over turn-in times, when they begin, how long they are open, when they end. Also present at the meeting is the official contest clock. The time is shown to all present in case anyone would like to synchronize their watches. Although in today’s world of cell phones and atomic clocks, synchronizing wrist watches is just about a thing of the past.


At most contests, the reps will stop around at each site on Saturday morning with the official contest clock in tow; again, so that the teams can make sure they know exactly what time will be used to determine the all important ‘turn-in’ window. The point of all this, everyone knows what time it is on Saturday morning at a BBQ contest. Now, if I can digress, knowing what time it is and completing a multitude of tasks within a certain timeframe are not the same.


It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen, teams receive a DQ for a late turn-in. A person on the outside looking in might say “how can that be?”…those on the inside know, “oh, it be”. While at a contest, I am constantly amazed how fast time moves. Early Saturday morning it seems like you have forever to get things done, things are relaxed, folks are shuffling about. Perhaps, many are suffering from a little bit too much merry making the night before, maybe some are just not morning people, I believe most think things are completely under control. For me, it is up early to get the ribs on, check the big meats, maybe grab some breakfast. Before I know it, its time to get the chicken started.


Now, I think I need to mention here, due to my own madness, my chicken cook has expanded into a 2.5 hour process. This procedure has severely limited me on any and all relaxation that might be available on Saturday morning at a contest. No matter how hard I try, it seems that as the magic time of 11:55 approaches, I am always behind were I should be. Being behind is not a good thing. I hustle, bustle, poke and prod all in an attempt to get the chicken into the box at a decent time. What is the optimum time you ask? I try to shoot for 12:00 on the nose. For whatever reason, it seems I always enter into the backside, (the last 5 minutes), of the window. Depending on how far our site is located from the judges’ tent, the backside of the window is not a good place to be. However, it seems I am always stuck in the backside, of the turn-in window that is!


Once we enter into the backside of the chicken window, it seems like we can never get out. We will be rushed and behind all day. I look up at the clock and know we have 25 minutes to get the rib box ready, more than enough time. I have a minute or two to relax, yea right. The next time I glace at the clock, it is 12:20 and my ribs are still spread about the cutting board. I look again after applying the finishing touches to the ribs and again we are right there in the backside, once again. Only this time, we’re stuck a little deeper.


The pork box for me is one of the most time consuming that we have and I can’t explain why. We don’t do all that well in pork; it just takes me a long time to prepare a mediocre pork box. Having to rush the box as a result of our presence in the backside surely doesn’t help. At this point I have stopped even looking at the clock and am relying on my teammates shouting out the time remaining until the lid must be closed. Our team runner usually whispers gently to me when I am in the backside of the backside for the pork turn-in. If you believe that one, I have a bridge to sell you.


Our brisket box usually assembles fairly quickly. Most of our time here is spent trying to determine which slices we will submit. Some times, the choice is made for us as a result of the contest submission being the best of the worse. Other times, we actually have to decide which we like better, and that is a good thing. The other time wasting issue I have found during the brisket portion of the contest is trying to find someone to help me taste and sample the cuts. Usually by now, no one on the team wants to put a piece of BBQ’ed meat into their mouths, no matter how small. Eventually, we get it done and the box goes in, hopefully on time.


For us, if we get behind early, we stay behind. If our 1st box goes in on time, we usually stay on schedule, with emphasis on the word usually. At a contest, every once in a while, you’ll hear that a team was DQ’ed for a late submission. In other words, getting stuck deep in the backside. You can see how it can happen, just don’t let it happen to you. Whatever you do, take whatever measures are available to avoid being late, after all, you’ve got 600 seconds!

Keystone BBQ Classic, Oct 2-3 2009, Harrisburg PA

A shocker……….


While on the way home from New Holland, sitting on a butt-doughnut, nursing a sore rear from the spanking that we just received, I got a call from teammate Bobby. He was traveling home with Al and they had a conversation about what they felt was our dismal showing at the Summer Fest. They had an idea, why don’t we sign up for the contest in early October just up in Harrisburg PA. See if we could turn things around a bit, blow the stink off so to speak.


Keep in mind; these are two guys that have made rumblings about next season cutting back on the number of contests we are currently cooking. Was I hearing them correctly, they wanted to sign up for an addition event, one that wasn’t already on the schedule. “But that is only two weeks before Dover,” I said, as I have heard complainants in the past about the short time between Bel Air and New Holland. “We know, see if you can get us in” was the reply, talk about a shocker.


A search around the net, a few emails and before I knew it I was inking a check and sending it off to Harrisburg PA. Erich was already committed to a family obligation and would have to miss the show but it looked like everyone else was in. This first weekend in October was a busy one for BBQ teams, The Royal in Kansas City and a contest down in Front Royal Virginia would be pulling the teams in different directions.


Al and I met early Friday morning then drove north to Harrisburg. The contest was being held in conjunction with a livestock show that had been going on all week. The organizers had us set up on the front lawn of the huge farm complex. Level sights, free ice and clean indoor toilets made this set-up one of the best of the year. Twenty-two teams had signed up to cook in this second year contest. This was the first year the event was sanctioned by KCBS and it had been designated as a State Championship, meaning that the winner would qualify for consideration for entry to next years Royal and Jack Daniels invitational in Lynchburg.


Friday’s weather threatened all day but never rained. We had a few showers after dark, nothing too long or heavy, not bad at all. By midnight, the showers had quit and the nearly full moon was struggling to make an appearance. The cookers were lit; the meat was loaded, so far without a hitch.


Saturday morning broke with a beautiful sunrise, the rain was gone and it seem like all was well. Little did we know, the now famous BBQ gremlins had sent a squad into town during the night while we slept. I had figured that we may not see them this weekend with so many other contests going on, I thought they’d be spread too thin and not have the manpower, or the interest to cover a second year event in the capitol city of Pennsylvania. Boy, was I wrong.


As I reported earlier, Lettuceman Erich was unable to join us this weekend. Jo jumped in and did a fine job preparing the boxes, so that wasn’t the problem. The problem was, we were a man down. I have said in the past how well the team was working together and I meant it. Everyone has settled in and knows what has to be done and when. Very few directions, instruction, or requests have to be made or given. Stuff just gets done. When you remove a wheel from the cart, the cart still moves forward, it just wobbles a bit.



Let’s just leave it at that, our cart was wobbling with the absence of lettuceman Erich. Several times during the morning’s activities, Jo commented that I needed to lighten up, relax, get some mojo working. Our usually good mojo apparently was on vacation with Erich and his family just north of us in the Poconos. It just seemed like we couldn’t get anything right. We struggled, I cussed, the morning moved on. Its amazing how what seems like a very small issue can be turned into a mountain when accentuated by a short tempered fat guy swearing and tossing things about, most times un-necessarily.


One of the lighter moments of the morning even got a chuckle from Mr Doom and Gloom, yours truly. I have been sporting a new look the last three contests, a straw hat. The headgear has been worn at both Bel Air and New Holland without a lot of comment. (very unusual) All of the sudden this weekend, I was receiving sharp barbs and insults in reference to my new skyzoo, of which; I was becoming very fond of. I removed my hat when taking off my apron to make a dash to the rest room during the mornings prep work and wouldn’t you know it, when I returned, I couldn’t locate my new friend. I got busy with other things and figured I had misplaced the hat and it would turn up later. After a long and unfruitful search, I finally spotted my straw hat clipped to the upper support bar of the canopy, out of reach without a ladder, pretty funny. Of course, no one in the site had any idea how it got there, amazing. Maybe the work of the gremlins.


Turn-ins complete, the trailer packed, we sauntered over for the 4:00 awards ceremony which began on time. I ranked our boxes after submission, ribs, brisket, pork, then chicken. The judges were pretty close. We first received a call for 5th place for our submission of chili made from a 4.5 # hunk of Bologna given to each team by the contest sponsor. Chicken, I didn’t think we’d have a chance, 5th place. Next was ribs, 2nd place, pork (usually our anchor) 2nd place, brisket 3rd place. Bobby was standing next to me and looked over, he leaned in to say something, my head was swimming, I uttered something like “don’t count your chickens”, (notice the inevitable reference to my fine feathered friend). Reserve Champion goes to Flying Porkers, who were last years winner. Grand Champion honors go to”who are those guys?” wow, to say I was happy would be an understatement. We let out a war hoot and went as a group to collect our trophy. Pretty cool. A shocker for sure. Gremlins be dammed.


This was our third year as a team. During our short time on the competition trail we have gotten a few calls and even gotten close to a grand a couple of times. Actually collecting a grand championship trophy was a first for our team and truly an amazing experience. I couldn’t have done it without my teammates, Al, Bobby, Erich and Jo, and for that I say thanks. Icing on the cake was my Mother and Father were there at the awards to see us get the win. Mom told me before the awards that she had a good feeling, I guess she was right. The only thing that could have made it any better would have been if Erich could have been there. Today is Thursday, 5 days since our walk, and the first day that my feet have even been close to the ground, a shocker for sure, one I am sure we won’t soon forget.

New Holland Summer Fest 8/28-8/29 New Holland PA

From 1st to 67th in 12 short months
Excuses….I aint got.


In case you don’t remember, last year at this contest we took 1st place in pork ribs. Our score was a 174.857, not bad considering 180 is a perfect score. Our rib score was the highest score out of any of the four KCBS categories for the 2008 Summer Fest. As the old saying goes, that was then, this is now.


The weatherman spoke more and more about showers for the weekend as the days preceding the event rolled on. I am not even mentioning the tropical storm / hurricane that was also cruising around out in the Atlantic threatening to head further east and raise a little heck. The tropical disturbance stayed well out to sea, so much for using that as an excuse. Nevertheless, the team and I took off late Thursday afternoon for the short drive up to beautiful Lancaster County. This was a first for our squad, loading into a contest site on Thursday evening, and I have to tell you, it won’t be the last.


We arrived around 6 PM and got the entire site set up before dark. It was great, no crowds, plenty of room. Erich and I stopped and bought 2 dozen live large blue crabs, Al brought along some fresh sweet corn and tomatoes, we grilled some burgers and steamed the crabs, man, did we have a feast. It was nice hangin out without the inevitable pressure that a contest brings. There were a few other early arrivals, so we had a bit of a party. It was fun, not that a contest isn’t fun, it was just nice to be able to visit, hangout and kibitz without the worry that comes with cooking a highly competitive contest.


The evening weather threatened a few times, but over all it was very pleasant. We all hit the sack and had a great nights sleep. The morning found the entire park alive with newly arriving teams, working to get into place. Meanwhile the WATG? crew ambled off and took in a little breakfast at a nearby eatery, nice. I think I really like this early arrival stuff. So much for the excuse that I arrived at the contest late and had to rush my trimming and prep work, ahh, no big deal, I am sure I can still come up with a good one.


It began to rain around 7 AM Friday morning and continued on and off for most of the day. The intensity varied and some teams had to set up in a bit of a downpour. We had to make a few sidewall adjustments but overall stayed pretty dry throughout the entire weekend. Friday night found our team dining on homemade spaghetti, salad and fresh baked bread, wow, one thing is for sure, we sure eat well at these events. The precipitation did put a bit of a damper on the evening social activities. I find I really enjoy visiting with the other cooks and wondering around the contest grounds on Friday night. Folks had to make their site rainproof to avoid getting wet, they really didn’t lend themselves to being open for visitors. Everyone sort of just hunkered down, the Friday night visiting certainly suffered. Scratch the excuse that the head cook got too drunk wondering around the park yik yaking with the other cooks, I’m going to have to look a little deeper, this is not going to be easy.


The really heavy rain began sometime just before dark on Friday and continued on until after 1 AM. I would like to be able to use cooker performance related to the weather as an excuse, but the fact is, our cookers were lit, loaded and cooked without so much as a bump in the road. So much for that one. Several members of our team spent the night in their trucks due to the heavy rain. I took a short nap in my new zero gravity chair inside the trailer within eyesight of the cookers. Not a problem all night.


The meats went on and came off with relative ease. We had no real problems, just enough issues to keep the boogieman away. Last years Saturday morning grease fire did not repeat itself, no complainants about that. Overall the morning went well, this contest includes 2 additional categories which we were planning to enter, resulting in a very long morning of turn-ins 11:30-2:00, not quite a marathon, but longer than usual.


After everything thing was in, we talked amongst ourselves during the inevitable product review. I rated our boxes from best to worst, chicken, brisket, pork, then ribs. I liked the taste of the ribs; I just wasn’t satisfied with the way they went into the box. Out of all six boxes, we were running the closest on time with our rib submission. I felt it just didn’t look right. Our pork, well I don’t even want to get started on that one, never our strong suit, some thought it was the best looking pork box yet, For me, we had better taste in Bel Air. Oh well, it was in the hands of the judges. Time would tell bad they really were.


While my top flight team mates broke down and packed the site, I ran up to the upper end of the contest grounds to help a couple of local boys from our neighborhood who were cooking a whole hog in their first contest ever. They had done a great job cooking the entry and just needed a little guidance getting it into the turn-in box. Their meat looked and tasted really good and when they were finished with the box, it looked like it had a real good chance of scoring well, and they had done all the work themselves, who ever said contest cooking was difficult. Perhaps I could blame my rib score on my preoccupation with preparing the whole hog box. That might have worked if, IN FACT, I had done anything to help them boys get that pig into the box. Truth be told, they did most of it themselves, oh well, back to the drawing board. I am sure I can come up with something.


The rain stopped and the sun came out just in time for the awards ceremony in the center of the park. A cup of Lapps homemade ice cream was a welcome snack after a weekend spent in the BBQ smoke. We cheered our friends and even took a few walks ourselves. It wasn’t until after the score sheets were distributed before we knew how bad it really was. Right there in black and white, who are those guys? 67th place ribs. And this was in a in a 72 team field. My buddy Dan from 3 Eyz would say, look at the bright side, we beat 5 teams. Me, I couldn’t see a bright side on this one even if I wasn’t the huge pessimist that my wife claims I am. Addition low lights would be 51st place pork and 31st place overall.


We had traveled from 1st to 67th place in the rib category in one years time. A journey I wouldn’t recommend, even to my worst enemy. As for an excuse, being an avid deer and waterfowl hunter, I am usually never at a loss when it comes to this department. But here on an August day in New Holland, I am excuse-less, without excuse. I thought about some of the old standbys, ‘too windy’, ‘the sun was in my eyes’, or how about, ‘the judges don’t know what they are doing’. The truth of the matter is, I screwed up the ribs and am going to try damn hard not to let it happen again, I only have myself to blame. Maybe a little influence by the now famous BBQ gremlins who rumor has it were spotted in the area disguised as Amish and Mennonite farmers.


In all of the doom and gloom and attempted excuse fabrication I almost forgot to touch on the few highlights of this weekends contest. We had a great time hanging out together on Thursday night. The overall cook went fairly well. The team, again, worked flawlessly together. The hospitality shown by Melvin and his dedicated band of contest organizers makes it easy to see why this contest has become the favorite of many teams and judges on the KCBS circuit, including ours. Oh, and we took 3rd in sausage and 1st place in chicken with a score of 175.4288, again, the highest score for any of the 4 KCBS contest meats. Not too bad for a guy that has about 10,000 hours invested into his chicken cooking methods. I hope I don’t repeat the same slide in my chicken scores when it comes time for the next Summer Fest.


I think I’ll run down to the supermarket this morning, I saw where spareribs are on sale this week, maybe I’ll grab a case or two and do a couple of practice cooks. I wonder if anyone in the neighborhood likes ribs.........

Maryland BBQ Bash- 8/14-8/15 2009

Things are running way too smooth…………



I tossed, turned, fretted and worried during the weeks leading up to the BBQ Bash. What would be the reaction to my blanket e mail informing folks that we would not be hosting the much anticipated party Friday night in Bel Air. Would I be shunned, scorned, stoned, or run out of town on a rail. The answer was none of the above. The overall reaction was that of understanding, support and well wishes. Gee, what a swell group of friends.

Jo and I took the trailer for the short drive to Bel Air Thursday evening and dropped it into our spot. Several teams were already on site while the set up crews were busy erecting fences, placing vendors and exhibitors. Friday was a scheduled day off for me. Al, Jo and I arrived at the site around 9 AM to begin to get things set up. In no time we had the site organized and were working on trimming the meats. Meat trimming went off without a hitch and we even had time to sit a spell and enjoy a bit of people watching. If you have never been to this contest and are in the area, it is a great venue with two day crowd totals over 20,000, meaning there are plenty of people to watch.

It was a beautiful summer evening, warm with a light breeze, couldn’t have been much better. We had some folks stop by, most hung around for a while then went on their way, certainly not any type of a distraction. By 8:30 or so, most folks cleared out and we were free to light the cookers and get things ready for the all night session that was ahead. Dean Ayers of Pork & Deans BBQ fame organized a team dinner for 9:00 Friday night. The spread that was put down was unbelievable. Many said that had never seen so much of a selection at a cooks dinner. What a feed.

Around 11:30 we took a walk around the contest and found most sites quiet and most cooks horizontal. A bit unusual, but not unheard of. We returned to our site and found our cooker purring along, topped her off with charcoal, then bedded down for the night. Wow, we might even get some sleep. I sat in my new zero gravity chair placed in front of the Tallboy and slept with one eye open. The Guru alarm never sounded the entire night, the cooker was dead on temp, no muss, no fuss.

Daybreak found the who are those guys? crew loading the ribs into the smoke. The big meats were on schedule and began to make their way onto the Cambro to be held until turn-in. The contest organizers put out a very nice continental breakfast that as far as I knew, had been previously unannounced. We noshed on bagels, muffins and sweet buns while our big meats finished their cook, right on schedule. The sauces were made, the chicken was prepped, so far, no problems, not even a hiccup. I even had time for a little late morning walk about. While drifting around exchanging pleasantries, in the back of my mind I was thinking, man, what would I give for some type of a problem. Not a big one, but something to knock the shine off of this morning and get us more focused.

I stopped by and wished my friends Dan & Jason with 3 Eyz BBQ good luck. Dan asked the inevitable question, “hows it going?” I proceeded to tell him the morning was running like a finely tuned engine, no problems, no troubles. As I railed on I could see the apprehension in Dan’s expression as I am sure he could hear the trepidation in my voice. Dan just stood there, shaking his head, “kiss of death” he was heard to say, “why don’t you go over there and cut yourself or drop something heavy on your foot, there is still time!”. We both had a good laugh, but deep down, I knew he was right.

I returned to the site to begin the chicken cook, again, the procedure was on auto pilot. My friend and cooking instructor Tom Meyer was joining us as a guest member on the team for this contest. He was a big help and jumped in like he had been prepping boxes all along. It seemed like the boxes went together without problems, although, we did venture into the backside of the turn-in window on several occasions, we never were really rushed.

Our stuff was in, we had no issues, no fights, no yelling, no disagreements, something just wasn’t right. I wasn’t very happy with what we sent to the judges, but that is another story. I ranked our submissions, pork, chicken, brisket, then ribs. After reviewing the results, I wasn’t far off. We did not get a call to the stage, at this contest; they call the top 8 spots. We finished 7th overall. We were the highest overall finish without a call to the stage. The next overall placement without a call was 16th. No complainants, just a good, solid, consistent cook, just no dingers, no homeruns. Its like we are hitting doubles, some triples, we are reliable, but can’t hit the long ball.

Rest assured, we will keep swinging, watching game film, practicing and working on our game. I don’t think we are far off, at least I hope we are not. What I am fairly certain of, another trouble/issue/problem free cook occurring during one of our remaining two contests for this year is not likely. Mr. Murphy, a longtime lurker throughout my entire life, will not permit that to happen. On the outside chance that he is asleep on the job, I know the gremlins are laying in wait just around the corner, just waiting for the chance to spring into action.

The Bel Air Quandary

Between a rock and a hard place


Regular readers of this blog and friends of ours will know that the Bel Air BBQ Bash is our home contest. Located in the town of Bel Air, it is only about ten minutes from my home. This year will mark 5 years for me at this event counting the 2 years I cooked the Tailgater Challenge on Friday night. Each year I have cooked the event, I have asked a few folks to drop by and visit. The team whips up some extra grub for our guests and it usually turns into a great evening. Needless to say, the guest list has grown over the years due to my extra large claptrap. After the 2007 contest, which included a large crowd of folks on Friday evening, the team threatened mutiny at first, but later softened on their position and let me alone for 2008. Not really voicing a yea or nea.


That was until last year. By our calculations, we had about 150 visitors to our 20x20 site on Friday night, and that was just the people I could remember. The evening went off very well due to the team chipping in and we had plenty of food. But to say that it was a bit distracting, especially when the real reason we are there at all is to cook a BBQ contest, is a bit of an understatement. To say I have heard plenty of mutinous talk since that fine evening last August, would also be an understatement. It all came to a head last month while we were in Green Lane Pa, it was there that I was read the riot act and told if I was planning on a repeat performance, I would be flying solo. This time I think they mean business, I could see it in their eyes.


Since that night, I have spent many hours pondering the situation. The worse part is, I think I have to agree with the team, as much as it pains me to do so. It has become distracting, with all of the prep and site work involved in competing in a contest, added together catering a party for 150 people, and you’ve got a heck of a lot of work to do. Last year, we still had a full site after 10:00 pm as we were working to get our big meats into the cooker. Very distracting. It is almost a stretch when you try and call cooking in a BBQ contest ‘fun’, but add in a Friday night catering gig on the same weekend and you’ve got what I call a lot of work to do. Sort of takes what little fun is there and puts it into kibosh mode.


As you can see, I have quite a quandary on my hands. The question is not should I still have the Friday night party complete with beer and a buffet line, I have pretty much decided on nixing the food and drink for Friday. The question is, what I tell all of the friends and family that have come to enjoy the evening of socializing in the streets of Bel Air each year at the BBQ Bash. Many of whom, have been stopping by since my days in the Tailgater.


My teammates seem to have come up with a very good solution. Since the contest is so close, we all have a fairly short drive, why not tell folks to stop in on Saturday, after turn-ins and sample some of the competition food. We always have plenty of food; the festival itself runs till Saturday night, sounds like a good idea to me. I realize this would be a first for the WATG? team. Usually, we are all buttoned up before the awards and bug out just as soon as they are over. But I think the idea is a win win. The visitors will get some good grub and we can concentrate on cooking the contest.


Those that know me know I like to have a good time. The past Friday nights at the Bash have been a blast, the team and I will all admit. If you look at the time and money that is committed to cooking a contest, suddenly, the thought of a Friday night party starts to loose its luster, especially to the guys on the team. So, I am thinking of sending out an email explaining the change in what has become a summer tradition and see what happens. I think the team and I will plan on slipping out after the cooks meeting and eating dinner at one of the watering holes in the town of Bel Air. That way, we will avoid having folks dropping in while we are trying to eat.


Saturday afternoon, after turn-ins and awards, we will all be dining on some mighty-fine BBQ products, sitting back and relaxing, just like it was Friday night, only without the pressure. Wait a minute, on Saturday afternoon I have trouble sneaking up on a plate of BBQ, oh well, that much more for the guests, maybe I will just send out for a pizza.