Beltway BBQ Showdown, June 13-14 2009

‘The Fire Marshal’ Fact or Fiction


The third annual Beltway BBQ Showdown was scheduled for Saturday Sunday June 13 2009 at the Prince Georges County Equestrian Center located in Upper Marlboro Maryland. Three years ago, this was the first ever KCBS contest that we ever cooked, there were 15 teams that year. This year, contest organizer Jonathan Jones has grown the event to include 47 teams. The contest was to be held on Sat/Sun, a first for our team. The good thing is no one had to take a day off of work for the contest. The bad news is, there would be no day of rest before heading back to work on Sunday.


A contest week e mail from the organizer noted that all tents, tarps, and Ezy-ups had to be rated fire retardant, (you must present certification from the manufacturer), no alcoholic beverages could be brought into the contest grounds, and all glass bottles were strictly prohibited. Needless to say, this last minute declaration of these various rules, regulations and edicts was met with quite the backlash on the numerous BBQ forums that I occasionally visit. PDF files of flame retardant certifications were sent about along with scanned copies and web addresses for those that were searching for even more info. Dan from 3 Eyz even volunteered to dispose of anyone’s unwanted alcoholic beverages if they were accidentally brought to the contest grounds. I am sure he was only interested in keeping fellow BBQers out of trouble with the long arm of the law. Sort of like jumping on the grenade, so to speak, what a guy.


The equestrian center is used weekdays this time of year to host area high school graduations. The contest grounds had been pressed into service as an overflow parking area the week before the event was to be held. The weather leading up to the scheduled weekend consisted of thunder showers and storms almost every evening. As you well know, wet, grass fields, cars and large amounts of rain usually do not go well together. I spoke to Jonathon earlier in the week and was told the field had become a bit greasy. He assured me he was on it, time would tell.


The forecast for the weekend was for a slight chance of showers or thunder showers, I think like 30%. The up side was, that is 70% chance of no rain, and I like those odds. Besides, we had not had rain at a contest yet, why start now. Friday night I loaded the trailer with all of my uncertified flame attracting canopies along with 3 cases of long neck Corona bottles for the two day cook down in PG County. After all, who can cook BBQ without drinking a beer? I know I can’t, well, its not that I cant, its more like I wont. And I figured, if my canopies caught fire, I could dose the flames with cold Corona.


When we arrived on site around 10 AM on Saturday morning we were greeted by Jonathan himself. All around the contest grounds mixed in with the teams already set up were trucks, equipment, and workers busy spreading, raking, tamping and rolling. It looked like ants on an anthill, everyone moving about, getting it done. I wonder if one of those guys is the Fire Marshal?


We were assigned a spot, were given some instructions, and began to set up. Everyone was there this weekend and we had my neighbor Tony Melvin along for the ride. Tony is a Quer that has recently, along with his wife, become a KCBS certified BBQ judge. Tony was interested in seeing the contest from the perspective of the cooking teams. I hoped this experience wouldn’t scare him away.


We set up in record time and had just sat down to relax a minute when Big Jon, the organizer pulled up with some County official in his golf cart, (not the Fire Marshal), and asked if we would please adjust our setup to move the cooking area. The Fire Marshal himself would be by later and wanted all of the cookers in a certain spot. With reluctant enthusiasm and a few select comments mumbled, the gang pulled together and rearranged the entire site to accommodate the wishes of the yet to be seen Marshal. Who was this guy with all of this power, Matt Dillon?


After we set up for the second time, we began our prep work which came off like clockwork, in fact, we were finished early. Perhaps we finished so quickly because some very threatening clouds were bearing down on us and several nearby folks said the radars on their phones looked like we were going to get drenched. No matter, everything was prepped and in the cooler in record time. We sat around and even had time for a quick nap. We dined on fried crab cakes and enjoyed a beautiful evening listing to a great blues band brought in to play for the cooks. The grounds were not open to the public on Saturday, so the music was for our ears only, and it was good, what a night. The storm cloud had passed and it appeared we had dodged the bullet. Still, no sign of the Fire Marshal.


I have never met a Fire Marshal. In my mind, I am picturing a guy in a department issued turn-out coat, rubber boots, and a fire helmet with a huge star in the center. He even has a star pinned to his coat. The guy is cruising the contest grounds in a beefed up golf cart, painted red of course, complete with a full light bar and siren set up. On the front and back of the cart, are various extinguishers and assorted other fire fighting apparatus. I am thinking, this guy, who ever he is, is carrying a large 3 ring notebook containing all of the local ordinances and regulations. Attached to the front of the binder is a smaller citation booklet used to cite offenders and scofflaws. I think that this is a misconception, but am not sure, having never met one in person, at least, not yet.


The early evening was not completely uneventful. As Big Jon ventured past out site yet again, this time with some other County Official riding shotgun, he again stopped at our site. “George” he began,” “you are really letting me down”, my pea brain, thinking this was a set up line from Jonathan, as he usually has a great sense of humor on display at all times, replied, “hows that?” “Remember that e mail I sent about the glass bottles and the alcoholic beverages?” Jon inquired. Now it began to make sense, this must be the Glass or the Beer Marshal. Me being the quick speaking without thinking, slow witted fat man that I am, replied like any beer drinking BBQ cook worth his weight in brisket would, “there is not a drop of beer in our site!”


Now it was all making sense, Jonathan was putting on a show for the Beer Marshal, showing how he was enforcing the rules on this unruly gang of BBQ cooks, and he wanted my help. I knew I was safe, cause back at the site the gang was all using can/bottle coolers or cups, there wasn’t a visable open container to be found. The Marshal glared at me with disgust,. “there is a bottle right over there on your table”. She might as well finished her statement with the thought that she had, “you jackass you”. Busted cold. This wasn’t a good sign; could the elusive Fire Marshal be far behind?


After dinner, a fine cigar, a few beers in glass bottles, (the Beer Marshal let me off with a warning and the promise that we would not open another can or bottle of beer until after dark), no rain, no Fire Marshal, this was going to be alright after all. Along about midnight, just as we were preparing to nest up for the night, the air got that feel, and we started to see a good bit of lightning. The cookers were over the required 10’ away from my non flame retardant canopies. We use a Guru, which is an electric fan and controller on our Caldera Tallboy. I am no electrician, but I do know that water and electric parts do not go well together. What if we were to move the 8X8 canopy over the cookers to keep them dry? What if the Fire Marshal came by? Did they work second and third shifts? Most fireman I know do.


What the hell, we had already violated 2 out of 3 of the last minute rules. I no longer had any credibility with Jonathan or the Beer /Glass Marshal. Why not go for the tri-facta? Boys, grab a corner. As we carried the canopy to the cooking area, I felt like I was being watched. Was the FM out there watching, waiting, for his chance to pounce, citation book at the ready. I felt that if he were to appear, we wouldn’t walk away with a stern warning this time, we were going down.


It wasn’t long before it was pouring cats, dogs, chickens and pigs. No long after it started, the large amounts of rain, which had no where to go on the large very flat, freshly graded and packed dirt and gravel field, began to puddle and pool up. We had a class 3 stream moving through our site at the height of the storm and about a 3 acre pond when it was all over. Not to worry, we dug a trench with our charcoal shovel and drained all our water onto our neighbors the 3 Eyz BBQ team. What are neighbors for? Besides, I figured the heavy rain and swift moving water would keep the Marshal away.


We planned to move the cover back away from the cookers as soon as the rain stopped, but forgot. The next morning came and went, still no visit, the canopy remaining in clear violation, as if I was actually baiting him, and in a way I was. I wanted him, the big time Fire Marshal, the one that made all the fuss, to come out, to show his face. Come out in your hopped up golf cart with your siren blazing, just like on the TV show COPS, and move in for the capture. Maybe, they could even have a film crew following on foot, or better yet, filming from a circling chopper as the FM moved in and took us out for violating the fire code. For a moment, I thought I could here a muted chorus of ‘Bad Boys” drifting in the wind.


But alas, it was not to be. There was no visit from the Fire Marshal; he would not take the bait. Does he exist? I really don’t know. Perhaps, he is just a legendary figure, like Paul Bunyon, or Davey Jones, used to scare folks into submission. What I do know for sure is, Jonathan and his crew of hard working County employees worked long and hard for the entire time that we cooks were on site to make sure everyone had what they needed and to try to improve the condition of everyone’s site. Overall, I think they did a fine job, and I look for this contest to continue to grow and improve.


Congrats to our friends 3 Eyz BBQ for taking the Grand Championship trophy home, along with top prize in both chicken and ribs. Kenny, Bob, Fred and the BBQ Guru were reserve Grand Champs and took 1st place honors in pork. Chris Capel and the Dizzy Pig boys won brisket and were 3rd over all. The ‘who are those guys?’ team were called to the stage twice, for chicken and ribs and were 4th overall. It has been since May of last year since we have received a chicken call, I hope the trend continues.


The best part of the weekend was standing next to Dan Hixon from 3 Eyz BBQ during the awards ceremony. After collecting two firsts along with a 4th place brisket, it was more or less assumed by the crowd on hand that Dan and the 3 Eyz crew would walk for GC. The announcer called the BBQ Guru for reserve as the suspense built. Then, they decided while they had everyone’s undivided attention, to make a public service announcement, thank a few folks for doing a fine job, and draw the events winning raffle ticket. The raffle winner, who was not immediately available, was called to the stage several times as Big Dan Hixon quietly took the gas pipe while waiting for the naming of the eventual winner. It seemed like forever, but I know it was only a few minutes, I sure it seemed like hours to my friend Dan. Finally, he got the call and took the walk, congratulations on a well deserved win.

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!

BBQ News now available on line.


For those that do not know and may be interested, (I realize of course I have severely limited my audience by including those that may be ‘interested’) I am now writing monthly columns in both the KCBS Bullsheet and the National BBQ News. The BBQ News is going to start an online paper and for now it is free. Check out the link below, turn to page 19, then click enlarge, check out the mug on that guy!!

http://www.server-jbmultimedia.net/NationalBarbecueNews/sitebase/index.aspx?area=doublepage&adgroupid=166787&pagenumber=1&view=double

You will have to copy and paste the above link to your browser, as I could not get the link to work.

An Important Announcement!

and thoughts on getting out on a high note


Those that know me know I am a huge Seinfeld fan. Do you remember the episode where George decides he wants to leave on a high note? Does the old saying ‘quit while your ahead’ ring a bell?


The other day while surfing around the net I came upon the National BBQ Rankings. I was causally perusing the listings of overall standings and there it was, in bold print, ‘who are those guys? ranked number 117 overall. This is out of 3,536 teams that are currently ranked. I then clicked over to The Pickled Pig Power Ranking, and there we were listed at 118. I have looked at these rankings once in a while in the past, but don’t check them on a regular basis. Not that it doesn’t matter; it’s just that I don’t bother to look each week to see where we are, or more importantly, where we’ve been, as the ranking changes each time they enter another set of contest results.


Wow, to say I was shocked would be an understatement. Looking at some of the team names listed above and below our squad and I saw some of the premier teams from around the region and the country. A pretty nice neighborhood to be hangin out in, that’s for sure. The really amazing thing for me is, we only cooked 7 contests last year and are scheduled to do only 6 in 2009. I am not quite sure how the rankings are tabulated, but you can rest assured, I ain’t complaining.


After much reflection, I got to wondering, as I often do. Is this like going hunting and shooting a whopper buck during your first couple of hunts? Here we are, only into our third season and we are ranked, and not just for the number of beers consumed at a contest. Then I got to thinking, maybe we should fold it up, get out on a high note. The chances of getting any higher are right slim in my opinion. Is there any way we can freeze time and stay in this spot, at least for a year or two while we enjoy the view?


We have our third event of the season coming up next week in Upper Marlboro MD, this is the halfway point of our season. The way I figure it, if we pull the plug right now, quit while we’re ahead, we should be able to ride it out in the top 200 or so at least until wintertime. Not a bad way to finish out the year, in what I would call a very highly competitive field of cooks and pit masters. Upon further thought, it occurred to me, maybe, just maybe, we could improve our position, move up a notch or two in our next couple of outings. I realize it is a gamble, especially when I look at the team lists for the contests we have yet to cook, but what the hell, most of them are neighbors, and I like to at least try to keep up with the Jones. If we are lucky enough to break the top 100, then maybe we’ll take our ball and head for the door…..we’ll see….


I also wanted to take a minute to announce our first official sponsor. 3 Eyz BBQ Rub,http://www.3eyzbbq.com/, has become an official sponsor of the ‘who are those guys?’ BBQ Team. The 3 Eyz BBQ rub is a great product. Dan, Jason & Dan produced the rub with pork in mind, and it has done pretty well. Last year they took 2nd Place for BBQ Rub at the Great American BBQ Contest held the end of May each year. Their product was up against some of the biggest names in the BBQ business.


This year, the 3 Eyz boys improved their position and came home with a 1st Place trophy for BBQ rub, not bad for a couple of guys from Maryland, which is basically known for its seafood, not BBQ. Good thing they didn't decide to quit after finishing #2 eh?


Their rub is excellent on ribs and slow cooked pork as designed.As you can imagine, I have taken their product up a notch or two, I have used it with great success on chicken, brisket and even seafood. Salmon and mahi mahi cooked on the grill are great with 3 Eyz rub. I have even, dare I say it, used this product instead of that yellow can while mixing crab cakes and other crab dishes. And guess what, the cops didn’t knock the door down to arrest me for making a crab dish in Maryland and not using the yellow can. They did, however, stop by and enjoy some nicely spiced crab balls I jazzed up using the 3 Eyz BBQ Rub.


If you haven’t given it a try yet, I encourage you to do so. The rub is available on their website, the link is above, and at any contest they are competing. Also, some select fine shops around town, the complete list of vendors selling 3 Eyz Rub is also available on their site, give it a try, you will be pleased with the results.


Wow, I sound just like one of those race car drivers during a post race interview.Oh well, we have a sponsor and are proud of it! Thanks to Dan, Jason and Dan of 3 Eyz BBQ for choosing us to represent your fine product.

Smoke in the Valley- Green Lane, PA 5/15-5/16 2009

Good friends, good times, times five.


I have lamented in the past about BBQ contest’s and the folks that compete in them. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, (I wonder if anyone under the age of 25 even knows what a broken record is), I feel I must reiterate.


First, let me say, cooking in a BBQ contest is a heck of a lot of work. I am not even considering the pre and post work that is involved. From the time we arrive at the site on Friday late morning/afternoon, we barely have a chance to sit down, let alone relax. You say up late Friday night then sleep under a canopy on a fold up cot for a few hours. Get up with the sun on Saturday morning, work all morning, get your boxes to the judges then receive your score. You then pack up what you just set up 20hours before, then drive several hours back to your home. Sounds like a blast doesn’t it?


Did I mention no showers and spending countless hours on your feet? Oh, and how about dealing with the weather, heat, humidity, wind, rain, uneven sites, mosquitoes, slippery grass, overflowing spot-a-pots, loud neighbors, and water that taste like garden hose. Then there is always the obnoxious drunk that stops by your sight while you are doing some prep work on Friday night and wants to tell you how great of a cook he is, all the while he can barely even stand up straight. And no, I am not talking about my team mates!


There is meat to be trimmed, sauces to make, boxes to build, dishes to wash and grates to be scrubbed. Unpacking, setting up, repacking, and this is if every thing is running smoothly. Please, form a neat orderly line, no pushing or shoving in order to sign up.


Keep in mind, we are PAYING to have all of this fun. That’s right, laying out hard earned greenbacks and burning a vacation time from work just to be able to play. And the cost, please, don’t tell my wife. You have the entry fee, the beer, the cost of the meats you are cooking, the beer, gasoline, tolls, camp food, camp beer, charcoal, beer, sauces and seasonings, garnish, tequila, well, you get the picture. I haven’t even mentioned the equipment cost, cookers, beer, trucks, trailers, beer, I have to stop or I’ll want to quit.


This gets me to my point. I would never even consider cooking a contest by myself. I have seen it done and done quite well. My hat is tipped to those that have pulled it off, but it is just not for me. The first and most obvious reason is for the sheer amount of work involved. As a somewhat portly, out of shape, on the back side of middle aged, wanna-be BBQ cook, flying solo at a contest would do me in. I have four super team mates that work as hard or harder than I when we are at a contest and when I get home on Saturday evening, I’m whooped.


The other more significant reason I wouldn’t do a contest solo is I would miss the fun we have as a team. I look forward to each contest as a great chance to spend time with my friends and my wife. As well as the chance to see my BBQ friends, old and new, I have met along the way.


Even though we are in the middle of a park somewhere in a town we don’t know, our gang always manages to have a good time. We will have a nice meal on Friday night, and then we wander around to visit with the other teams. Occasionally sipping a few drinks. Sometimes, we will prepare breakfast Saturday morning, either way; we have a lot of fun with an awful lot of laughs.


Speaking of friends, in my short time hanging out with this BBQ crowd I have been very fortunate to meet some really nice folks. Some I have met on-line in some of the various BBQ forums that I visit from time to time. Others I have met in person at the different contests we have cooked. Usually, after a conversation or two, it’s as though we have known each other for years.


This past weekend in Green Lane PA I was fortunate to have my old friends, my wife and a new friend hanging out with me. Bobby, Erich, Al, and Jo are my team and whose help I could not do without. Steve, better known as Sledneck, is a fellow Qer I met through the BBQ Brethren Forum. I invited Steve to hang out with us at Green Lane as he has been hoppled recently with a bad ankle injury.


Steve limped into our site mid-day on Friday and after some brief introductions and small talk was just one of the gang. Believe me when I tell you, his temporary handicap didn’t buy him any slack from the usual sharp barbs hurled around by the WATG crew, it was like he had been cooking with us from the start, and in a way, he has. Everyone one that I have met along this BBQ road that I travel is a part of my team, whether they like it or not! My buddy Steve aka Sledneck was no exception, he fit right in with the others. By midday Saturday as I walked briefly around the contest grounds I could hear the laughs coming from our site, good times, good friends, this is what it is all about.


For me, the time spent with my friends, old and new, is why I like to que. Sure, we could just stay home, surf the net, save some money, watch a movie, light the gas grill, toss on a few steaks, clean up with running water, take a shower and sleep in a nice comfortable bed. But it just wouldn’t be the same; we would be missing the contest ambiance and the camaraderie, both huge in my book. Not to mention the laughs.


The contest at Green Lane was a first time event run by the local volunteer fire company. The organizers did a great job taking care of the teams and ran the show like they had been hosting contests for the past 10 years. We had folks stopping by every hour or two asking if we needed anything, the service was phenomenal. Lo & Slo BBQ from New Jersey took the grand championship, congratulations to them. We were lucky enough to grab the reserve spot and we are very grateful.


The weather was great even though the weather man did his best the preceding week to rain on our parade. It threatened, but never rained. Good weather, great friends, tasty food, gracious hosts, and cold beer. I can’t think of a nicer way of spending the night in the middle of a municipal park in Green Lane Pennsylvania. You know the State motto of PA is “you’ve got a friend in Pennsylvania”, well, last Friday night, I was lucky enough to have five.

Time travel…the year is 1973 and we didn’t have to use the ‘Wayback Machine’

Kenwood High School Class of 1973 35th Class Reunion Saturday April 25, 2009


A word of warning to some of my regular readers, this post is not BBQ related.


Last Saturday night, I ventured to my 35th class reunion which was being held one year late due to a change in the reunion committee. My wife and I arrived at the hall with our good friends Jack and Renee and were greeted at the entrance way with some blue and white balloons, (our school colors), tied to a walker, at least someone has a sense of humor. Once inside, Jack leaned over and asked me “did we go to school with all of these old people?”


From that point on it seemed like we had stepped back into time. All of the sudden, it was 1973 as I wondered around shaking hands and hugging anyone with a nametag on. At one point, I think I hugged one of the wait staff. She was a good sport about it. My wife said she didn’t buy the story that I thought the young lady had graduated in our class, as she probably wasn’t even born yet when we left the hallowed halls of KHS. But that’s my story and I am sticking to it.


I have a very good recollection of names and faces from 30 years ago, even though I can’t remember what I had for lunch half the time. I amazed myself identifying some of the folks that I went to school with. The class reunion is a funny event. You see a person that you used to sit next to for 3 years of high school and haven’t seen in 20-30 years and after a few minutes of conversation, its like you left school just last week.


The other interesting phenomenon about a reunion is, after the initial greeting, some catch up small talk, there is an awkward pause as you try and find an exit line. Early in the evening, it was very difficult, but as the night wore on I got it down and moved around the room like the 18 year old that I once was, only with a little more girth.


The best part was seeing the old friends. In our early fifties now, it seemed that most of the inhibitions were gone. Jocks, nerds, geeks and prom queens all stood together hugging and talking about life, kids, grand kids, and the good old days. It was if we were all young again, at least for a few hours, no worries, no concerns, just friends, old stories and what was left of our fading memories.


It reminded me of the Bruce Springsteen song ‘Glory Days’. It seems as more and more water passes under my bridge it becomes harder for me to listen to that song without welling up. Talk about hitting home, that song does it to me every time. It sucks getting old, but, it does beat the alternative.


The shot of reality came when speaking with folks. I heard success stories, tragic tales, cancer survivors, retirements, marriages (some for the 3rd or 4th time), grandkids, cancer patients, and of course the ever growing list of those no longer with us. The reunion organizers did a very nice tribute to that group of classmates, which made everyone stop, think, remember and reflect.


The DJ played a mix of tunes from our school years and today and some of the folks even got up to dance. It seemed like everyone that attended really enjoyed themselves. Except of course the spouses who could be observed sitting quietly at the tables or standing with hands folded in the background, occasionally glancing at their watches. Time standing still for them I am sure.


But alas, as quick as the evening began, the lights were coming up signaling it was time to go home. Many stood around hugging and exchanging contact information that will probably never be used. A few of the hardy ones announced some were adjourning to a nearby watering hole, this reunion we would miss. Some made the suggestion that we should do this every year. A good idea, but somehow, I think some of the luster would get lost in the sauce. Once every five years is perfect.


As our classmates made their way to the exits for their journeys back to reality, I believe the thought many people had was, ‘this is the beginning of the end’. While statistics say many will live well into their 80’s-90’s, reality is, the list on the table in the corner will do nothing but grow, that’s life. The truth of the matter is, we are approaching the backside of middle age, which is a fact. One only needed to look around the lighted room for confirmation if it was needed.


I think that was why I could see the occasional tear in many people’s eyes as we stood and said our goodbyes. Everyone promising to stay in touch, but again, reality is, we know we probably wont and just hope to be lucky enough to meet again in another 5 years for another trip to down memory lane.


Everyone is so busy just living life and trying to survive, sometimes all we can do is just hang on, hope and go along for the ride. It is for that reason, you must be sure to enjoy the good times when they present themselves, like they did for us on Saturday night. As a wise old man once said, (not me, I sure as hell ain’t wise), ‘life is too short’. I believe we are all beginning to see the truth in those profound words of wisdom.


The next day as I reflected on the preceding night’s events, I felt fortunate to be able to attend the reunion and blessed to be able to see many of the folks that were a large part of my younger days. I am also very thankful to have remained close with a handful of folks from those early years and extremely lucky to have them as friends today.


The 2009 organizing committee did an outstanding job preparing the time capsule for our journey. The year 2013 will be here before we know it. I hope there will be another gathering of our classmates for our 40th year reunion. I also pray that the guest list for the table in the corner doesn’t grow too quickly, there are already too many people sitting there.


As folks took off for the ride home and back to the year 2009, I am sure many reached for the antacid, Tylenol, and the Ben-gay. Many nursing upset stomachs, sore and swollen feet and aching backs, after all, we are nothing but a bunch of old farts! Give me three Tylenol and pass me my Rolaids, its way past my bedtime.

Pork in the Park - Salisbury Maryland - April 17-18 2009

The best laid plans……yada yada yada


My wife Jo and I have been taking regular monthly cooking classes for the past 5 years or so with a small group that have become good friends. Last fall, we cooked a dish that both Jo and I thought was off the charts. A pistachio crusted rockfish, stuffed with a crabmeat and scallop mousse. The dish was topped with a beurre blanc sauce; it was a hit with everyone at class that night.

We had friends over during the winter and served the very same dish and again it received rave reviews. I cooked it at the regular Christmas dinner for the gang that I went to high school with and even had non seafood eaters gobbling it up. Big on flavor, a little wow factor, great taste and texture, this dish had it all.

Of course, my mind was working, could I pull this off at Salisbury this year for the anything butt entry. The dish was fairly simple to make, you only needed to bake it at 350 for about 30 minutes. Overall, very easy to prepare, much can be done in advance, hmmmm, it is looking good. I wonder about the seafood availability.

Last weekend I stopped at our local seafood monger and inquired as to the possibilities. The young man behind the counter seemed to glaze over when I started asking about dry scallops, FRESH rockfish and jumbo lump crabmeat, he suggested that I call first thing Monday morning and speak to Joe, the manager.

Monday morning found me on the horn to seafood manger Joe, He assured me he could procure everything that I requested and would have it ready for pickup on Thursday afternoon. The only thing left was to figure out how to serve my entry.

For the ‘anything butt’ category at this contest, regular KCBS garnish rules do not apply. The only restriction was the submission had to fit into a ½ aluminum pan. Jo and I scoured Bel Air for days looking for just the right dish to place my, what was sure to be a top five finishing entry, into. We finally found the perfect size and shaped dish, and the best part was, they were only 2 bucks a piece.

The long winded point that I am trying to make here is I put an awful lot of time and money, (jumbo lump crabmeat at $32.00 a pound) into this dish.

Now, let’s talk dessert. Wife Jo would not be attending the Salisbury contest this year due to an out of state wedding she was invited to the same weekend. When it came time to decide between spending two days on your feet in a field or going to Florida for a few days, well, you know what happened to my dessert cook.

I next tried to bribe my niece Jackie who lives in New York to come down and cook the dessert entry. She is a student at the Culinary Institute of America, a phenomenal pastry chief and cake decorator, in other words, she’s a ringer. She’s also a lot of fun to have around. Who, in their right mind could turn down two days in a grass field, cooking and hanging out with their favorite Uncle and a couple of his beer drinking, cigar smoking, somewhere on the back side of middle aged buddies? I don’t think you could find a 20 something girl anywhere in the country that would rather do anything else, what a weekend it would be, it is what dreams are made for. Unfortunately, (or fortunately), for Jackie, she had to work and could not make it. She missed the cultural and culinary experience of a lifetime, maybe next year.

Oh well, we just wouldn’t do the dessert. I already had the anything butt in the bag. The clock was ticking. Sometime, late Tuesday afternoon, it hit me, I could do the dessert. I had a recipe for a pecan dish that would kill, yea, we’ll do it! No time to shop for dishes, I would just cut it into squares and place them into the tray, the dish, after all, was called ‘Pecan Squares’.

I copied the list of ingredients onto my shopping list and it was off to the races. Everything was on tract until we arrived at the contest site. It took Arthur and I a little longer than usual to set the camp, then we had a huge wind come through and do a little damage which set us back about 1 ½ hours. Meat trimming took a little longer than usual due to an additional step or two in my chicken program. Bottom line, we were behind.

I was bound and determined to get the anything butt entry to the judges, after all, there was $1,000 in prize money that would go a long way to buying a new trailer. It was mine for the plucking, money in the bank.

Three times during the late afternoon I announced to anyone that would listen that we were not going to do dessert. There just wasn’t time. Wait a minute, I glanced at the recipe, (for the first time since last fall) and figured we would only need 45 minutes of baking, we had an hour after the award winning anything butt submission went in, it was doable, desert was on.

Bobby got things started, blending the dry ingredients while I worked with Arthur and Erich assembling the sauce. We got it in the cooker just in the nick of time. The way it looked, the pan would be finished baking at about 7:50, which would give us enough time to cut into squares before building the box.

At about 7:45 I decided to take one last look at the recipe. It was then I noticed the next to the last step, “cool in refrigerator for 40 minutes before slicing into squares.” This blunder on my part illustrates what normal preparation and readiness can do when properly carried out. In this case, I was again on the short end of a stick, and the only one I had to blame was myself.

My first thought was to keep it quiet, how hard could it be to slice? I would whack it into squares and stick them into the box, no problem. That was until I removed the pan from the cooker. I stood staring at a molten hot pan of bubbling butter, sugar and pecans’, slicing into squares was not an option. Tick tock the clock never stops. Turn-in for this entry opened at 7:50 while I stared at the pan of lava this time came and went, what to do? Give up, not an option. Think.

I have an idea, Bobby, take the remaining heavy cream and whip it with some sugar. Erich, lets you and I cut some Styrofoam coffee cups to size to fit into a ½ pan. Pass me that spoon. The finished product at this time was very runny; I could scoop it out along with some of the crust. This I would dump into the cut down coffee cups, we would put a cup of whipped cream into the center, in each cup we would place a spoon, plastic was all we had, it would have to do, it goes well with a Styrofoam cup anyway!

Arthur drizzled the cups with some melted chocolate and there you have it, time? 8:03 someone cried out. I took the box and started towards the judge’s tent. This was my first trip in that direction for the day, I had not attended the cooks meeting and wasn’t exactly sure were the table would be set. I noticed I did not see the normal stream of runners heading towards the judges, most were coming back, having already dropped their boxes with plenty of time to spare.

It was then I heard a voice, “George, you’d better hustle, it is 8:04”. Who ever yelled that, thank you, I thought I had plenty of time. Those in the know will tell you that anything after 8:05 is not good. I began to run. Now, picture this if you dare, an over the hill, more than slightly rotund, athletically challenged, with two left feet BBQ cook with a dirty apron holding a ½ pan out in front of his self while he attempts to move his large frame without stumbling over his own extra large two feet. Funny, would be an under statement.

I dropped the box on the judges table at 8:04 and 45 seconds, what’s the rush? I had a whole 15 seconds to spare, yea right.

I suppose now you expect me to launch into the awards and how it was so exciting to walk forward to collect our first place prize for the anything butt category. My well planned, overly expensive AB entry. Well, let me give you the thumbnail version, who are those guys? Anything butt 43rd place, dessert 7th place. Ah, the benefits of a well planned and well executed contest submission. Just goes to show you, well….., I don’t have a clue.

The next day the KCBS portion of the contest went fairly smooth for WATG? Considering this was our first outing for the year. There were 92 teams entered and we finished 5th overall. Our only call to the stage was for 3rd place brisket. We were also very fortunate to receive the award given for the highest scoring Maryland team in the contest, which included a very nice prize and of course those ever important braggin rights.The contest was won by my friend Steve Farin cooking as I Smell Smoke. Steve was cooking with his parents and it was his birthday. Congratulations and Happy Birthday!

The moral of this post is to never say never. Like the Marine Corps, improvise, overcome, adapt. If you run into a problem, don’t panic, think, then work around it, do your best, or some other B-movie cliché. As for me, I gotta start thinking about my AB submission for next year, how about a bowl of chips with some salsa? Something easy, not a lot of planning, something with some yada yada yada.

Bloggers note:
Friday evening two folks stopped by our site on separate occasions to visit. They both commented on how much they enjoyed reading this blog. I was able to acknowledge their visit with a thank you but little else. As you can see from the above story, I was up to my ears in alligators Friday evening. I want to thank you for the kind words about the blog and I hope you get to stop by again sometime when we will have a minute to talk que.

KCBS / NASCAR

Haven’t I heard that somewhere before?


After competing at the Diamond State BBQ contest held on the infield at Dover Downs in Delaware for the first time in 2007 I had a few thoughts and ideas. The teams were cited inside the track in the area where the NASCAR drivers’ motor homes are parked for a race weekend. The spot is very spacious and includes water, electric, sewer and even a hook up for cable TV. The area is level, easily accessed, comfortable, some concrete, some grass, in other words, a great place to hold a BBQ contest.


When it came time for the contest awards on Saturday, the organizers had chosen a spot in the middle of the infield near the team area. There was no stage or elevated platform to announce from, the announcer just stood in front of the band at ground level and gave out the awards. The contest was fairly large for around these parts and included over 80 teams. After everyone, sitting and standing surrounded announcer, most of the folks, us included, couldn’t see a thing. Which I guess is not a real big deal, but I like being able to see all of the cooks receiving their awards after their name is called. For me, that is part of the fun.


I also felt that, although we were inside of the notorious Monster Mile, there was not one reference to the world famous surroundings during the entire contest. For me, it was like going to Fenway Park for a baseball card convention, and no one mentioning the Green Monster. It was, how do I put this, an abomination.


In late October 2007 I sent along an e mail to the Dover contest organizers. In that note, after I thanked them for their hospitality, I highlighted several ideas and suggestions that I had for improving their contest. The main thrust was tying together the speedway, NASCAR, and the contest. For starters, my suggestion was to include more of a Monster Mile tie in with the contest in general with tee shirts, racing type decorations and logos within the contest site.


I then suggested that the awards ceremony be held in victory lane, which is set up perfectly with its bleacher style seating. Everyone could see all of the awards, plus I think it would be cool to be there accepting awards. Again, in keeping with the racing type theme, sponsor logos and signage would provide a great backdrop for photographs of teams as they accepted their awards. Even teams that were not called to the stage would probably opt to have their picture taken in front of a neatly designed backdrop. This would be a win win, the organizers would get the contest name out and the sponsors would have their logos live on through the many pictures that would be taken. One thing we all know, most BBQ folks take a lot of pictures, and many post their contest pics on the net, again, a huge plus for sponsoring companies. If for some obscure NASCAR rule, victory lane was off limits, have the ceremony on or near the start finish line, on an elevated stage complete with checkered flags and bunting, again, running with the racing theme.


My alcohol soaked brain then went into overdrive. You have these speedways all around the country that are idle for many months of the year. Why not marry NASCAR with KCBS, using the speedways for contest venues, they are perfect. The demographics for the BBQ participants and NASCAR fans are very similar. I am not a marketing expert, but I surely think that some advertising wiz would certainly be able to come up with a slew of clever adds and merchandising gimmicks linking the fast cars of NASCAR to the slooow cooks of the KCBS circuit. I have a half a dozen in mind already and I am not even on the payroll. It would be an advertising agencies dream account, a slow one over the middle of the plate ready to get knocked out of the park. A home run, waiting to be hit.


The contests could be held inside the tracks, like at Dover, which is a great set up. If the accommodations inside the track would not work at a particular location, most of the race tracks have huge parking areas which could easily be turned into a contest venue for a BBQ weekend, using the track as a background. Again, mostly everything needed for the logistics of a contest is already present at the racetracks.


I thought that with some planning and a little forethought, someone could develop a BBQ series similar to the NASCAR Race to the Chase. This could include the events that were held at the speedways. The championship contest, based on season points, would be held near the end of the year, crowning the Champ for that season. I know it needs some work, but it has got some possibilities.


I would not envision the contests being held at the tracks on race weekends, but during the year when the NASCAR boys were else where. There could be some tie-in bringing the top cooks to race weekends for demos and such, or bringing the occasional driver or crew chief to a BBQ contest, the possibilities are endless, in my opinion.


Some NASCAR teams could choose to send their display cars to set up at the BBQ contests, again, a plus for the sponsoring companies, more exposure. There may even be interest, if the crowds were large enough, to have some of the race team souvenir trailers at a contest weekend.


NASCAR’S involvement in the sport would have several positive effects. I think it would bring in more money for contest payouts, therefore generating team interest. There would also be more sponsor interest in the BBQ teams as well as more interest generated to the general public, you know the millions and millions that DON’T watch the Food Network. Heck, while we are at it, lets bring the Food Network on board as a partner too, the more the merrier.


I know, I know, there are many that say there is already too much money in BBQ and to bring in a large outfit like NASCAR would be the beginning of the end. I will save that discussion for another day. One thing that can’t be argued, competition BBQ cooking is quickly becoming a very popular sport.


Of course, I received no response to my suggestions other than the standard ‘thank you for your suggestion, we will take it under consideration’ reply. I then digressed to telling my brilliant idea to anyone that would stand still for more than five minutes for a week or so before it was lost in the fog of everyday life. Every once in a while, the thought would resurface, I would knock it around, add a little to it, take a little off, then forget about it for the next few months or so. You can imagine my surprise when I got to the 2008 Dover contest this past October and saw not one of my suggestions or ideas being used. So much for that brilliant idea, I thought to myself.


So, how do you think I felt when last Thursday as I walked back from the mailbox glancing at the front page of the Bullsheet, the monthly publication put out by KCBS. There was an article about the annual banquet that was recently held in Nashville TN. The word NASCAR jumped out at me and I almost fell over. There in black and white was an announcement at the banquet that NASCAR and KCBS were teaming up for an experimental contest. As I read through the article I saw the statement, “It seems that someone has finally realized that the bbq demographic and the NASCAR demographic are pretty similar. Kudos to MMA.” Hey wait a minute, those are not my initials! Who is this guy MMA and where did he come up with that one? Well, you can imagine how I felt, another one of my great ideas, down the drain due to my inaction.


So that I am clear, I am not saying that anyone or any group stole my idea. It was not mine to steal. I had the thought, told a few folks, but did nothing to further or promote the idea. I just sat on it. (as usual) And, as anyone that knows me will tell you, if I am sitting on it, it ain’t goin no where! (not that my can is all that big, but you get the picture) Therefore it was not mine. I just thought it would be an interesting topic for this blog entry.


I will, however, say that throughout my short time on this planet, I have had a few other good ideas that I have not acted upon only to see someone else take to the next level and enjoy great success while I watched from the sidelines. Home delivery for pizza and subs comes to mind about 30 years ago, can anyone say Dominos?


I guess the point here, if there is a point, if you have a great idea, don’t be afraid to act on it. Get out there and run with it. “Just do it”, as the tag line goes. Because if you don’t, you might find yourself watching as your idea goes up in flames, right before your eyes. As for me, it doesn’t really bother me anymore; I have seen it all before. Meanwhile, I am going to track down this guy MMA to see if he will hire me as a consultant I’ve got a few more ideas on this KCBS/NASCAR deal!



Bloggers note: MMA Creative is the agency of record for the Kansas City Barbeque Society, handling the organization’s promotional and sponsorship efforts. KCBS is the nation’s largest barbeque organization, sanctioning nearly 300 competitions from coast to coast and consisting of more than 8,000 barbeque professionals.

Contest ZZZZZZZZ's

Necessary or overrated?


During my short time around the BBQ circuit, one aspect, in my opinion, is the most widely varied. The methods and means are almost as different as are the many team names and signage. Of course, I am speaking of team sleeping arrangements.



A walk around any contest site on a Friday afternoon will give the astute observer a good idea on what is to come. Of course, teams with travel trailers or campers are flying in the upper strata of snoozers. Lights, private rest rooms, heaters and or air conditioners, showers, beds, and electric give these lucky folks the feeling like they are just cooking out in the back yard. Another huge advantage to this type of set up is having room to carry all of your gear without too much trouble. Bad weather, no problemo, just build your box in the kitchen, no worry about any high winds or rain. This set up is generally in the minority at most contests that I have seen.




Next you have the tent dwellers. If site space permits, some teams will pitch tents of varying shapes and sizes in order to facilitate a little shuteye. This is a great idea if you have a family and or young children with your group. This arrangement allows some privacy and creates a great space for kids to bunk down, somewhat away from the fray.




Another group deserves mention, although I wonder how they can even exist. These are the automated cookers sometimes known as motel guests. You will see their sites late Friday night, all set up, cookers smoking, not a soul in sight. One would assume that they arrive back on site at the appropriate time to begin the morning cook but who knows; perhaps they have that phase of the operation on automatic pilot as well. All I know is, there is no way I could even begin to sleep in a motel while I was wondering if everything was going as it should back at the contest site, 5 miles away. I would be a nervous wreck, and surely I could never find the Z zone, no matter how many pigs I counted.




The next bunch I like to refer to as the zombie Q’ers. This is the group that never sleeps. They arrive early Friday, work all day around their camp, and then stay up all night stoking their fires or wandering the contest grounds yaking with the other cooks. They will even go as far as to interrupt others when they are trying to sleep. The walking dead don’t even sit long enough to take a nap. I don’t know how they do it. I am guessing they really enjoy what they are doing, or they are ‘in fact’ zombies, or they have a large supply of Red Bull stashed somewhere.




The Rube Goldberg gang is next. This group will use tarps, blankets, plastic sheeting, cardboard, just about anything they can find to construct a shelter for the night. Sometimes the result is successful, other times, not. Some look like they are built to last, while others look as though a stiff sneeze would knock it over. Either way, I believe that they do achieve the desired effect, whether it be privacy or darkness, which ever they are after. As long as the wind doesn’t blow too hard.




The car sleepers are another very popular group at most BBQ contests. A walk through the parking area of any contest on Friday night will find many autos with their windows steamed like a July night back at the Bengies Drive-in. The difference is, instead of two passionate youths rolling around in the front seat trying to find love, you will probably find some snoring fat guy with a BBQ stain on his shirt sprawled out across the back seat trying to find his bottle of antacid. The bigger difference is, you wouldn’t mind seeing the first scenario, (maybe bringing back a pleasant memory or two), while a glimpse of the second would easily give you nightmares for months to come, or send you running directly into therapy, or both.




A sub group to the car sleeper is the slightly more sophisticated, truck sleeper. This is the guy that sleeps in the cargo area of his pick up, with or without a cap. The guy sleeping with a cap on the truck is not doing too bad, it is almost like a camper. Emphasis on the word ALMOST. The guy sleeping in the cargo area, no cap, in the parking lot, can give the unsuspecting pedestrian quite a jolt when walking by the truck at the same time the sleeping man decides to pass gas. Nuff said.




The shift workers. This is a very smooth operation if run properly. Teammates will take turns or shifts watching the cookers and tending the camp throughout the night. When you are off, you can hit the hay or go and play, the choice is yours. This is probably the safest way to ensure a trouble free overnight cook. I can not explain why we have not explored this as a possibility, perhaps the folks on my team like their sleep too much. Maybe I will put a note into the suggestion box for the upcoming season.




The remaining group, which I feel has the largest contingent, is the gang I refer to as the homeless cookers. To which, we are honored to be members. Very late on Friday night you will see some of them starting to nest up. Some are observed stumbling dreary eyed through the contest grounds carrying cots, pillows and or sleeping bags. Areas are cleared, sometimes cots are erected. Other times reclining chairs are broken out. Many times, you’ll see them just curled up on a cooler or an open spot on a trailer. Some can even venture into dream land while sitting upright in a lawn chair. These are the lucky ones in my opinion. The entire scene is eerily similar to a down town park. There you might see a bench sleeper, a ground sleeper, and even a lucky grate sleeper if the outside temps are getting cool.




Our team, as I mentioned is a part of the homeless cookers. We each bring along a cot, sleeping bag and pillow and set up under our easy-up. We will try and arrange it so the cots are away from the prep table so the early rib man, (me), doesn’t disturb our resting crew attempting to get their beauty sleep. God, knows, they need all the help they can get. I usually try and set my cot next to the cookers so I can keep an eye on the situation from the bunk.




For me, I erect a cot and lay out my sleeping bag and pillow. I am not a sound sleeper under perfect circumstances. So let’s just say at a contest, I am lucky if I can get in a nap. A combination of outside noises, worry about the cooker, and overall contest jitters keep me from falling into a deep sleep. Usually, the rest of the team will bunk down and I will sit up and watch the cookers for a while. Before turning in, I like to take another walk around the contest to see who is still up. This is a great time to meet and greet some folks that are usually busy most other times. I usually stay away from sites where I can hear large amounts of logs being sawed.




Along about 1:30 or 2:00 AM I will lie down and try to catch some Z’s. Sometimes I am successful, sometimes not, but at least I try. My alarm clock chirping at 5:30 reminds me to rise and get the ribs ready to hit the smoke. I usually try and make just enough noise as to wake my slumbering teammates without disturbing the sleepers in the immediate area. Sometimes this necessitates “accidentally” dropping something next to their head, ooops!




Daybreak at a BBQ contest is my favorite time. Just about everyone has their smokers rolling and the sweet smell is everywhere. A smokey haze hangs over the area sometimes so thick you could cut it with a knife. It is too early for any pedestrians, so the crowd is limited to other cooks moving about without the urgency they will have later in the day. Everyone is generally subdued; no loud music is being played. The heat of the day is in check for a while. Most of the drunks are either passed out or in a stupor. The loudest noise is the occasional tearing of sheet of aluminum foil being used in the cooking process. This must be what it is like in BBQ heaven.




Al will put on some coffee and all is well in our little corner of the world. I always leave my cot up after I rise with the intention of getting a chance to lie back down after the ribs are on. In two years, I haven’t made it back to the sack a single time. Maybe this year I will.




As the morning inches forward, folks take down their makeshift shelters and begin to roll up their sleeping bags in preparation for the days activities. As for me, I haven’t made it back to my bag; I’ve got too much to do. I am way behind already and its not even 9:00. I might as well break it down and roll it up; right now it’s just in the way. What do you say we amble over to the soup kitchen to see what they are serving for breakfast? Sleep at a contest, definitely overrated in my book. Breakfast at a contest, now that is a necessity. Maybe I’ll get lucky and grab a nap after turn-ins and before the awards.