Diamond State BBQ Championship

Ain’t this suppose to be fun?
What’s with Mother Nature, doesn’t she like to Que?

The first two years we competed on the BBQ trail we cooked in a total of 11 contests. Out of those events, with the exception of a brief shower at Dover in 2007 during the tornado, we were operating in dry conditions. We had a lot of fun. This year was quite different.


April found us in Salisbury, no rain, but we had a huge wind gust come out of nowhere Friday afternoon and destroy a bunch of equipment including our brand new 10X20 canopy. In May we cooked in Green Lane PA, heavy rain the week before the event made the contest grounds a sponge, no rain fell while we were there, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.


June we signed up for an event to be held in a horse arena in Upper Marlboro MD. Again heavy rain preceding the contest day played heck with the set up conditions. Late Friday night we received torrential rain for about 1.5 hours, making for some interesting waterways and ponds around the entire contest area.


Our next contest was Bel Air in August, nearly perfect conditions, that was fun. Then came New Holland, the party was over. It rained all day Friday and on and off during Saturday morning and afternoon, the skies clearing just before awards. Most of the gear was put away wet and had to be dried after returning home, a royal pain.


Harrisburg PA was in early October, showers Friday evening and overnight caused a few minor adjustments, but overall, most of the equipment was dry before being packed. Dover DE was next on the list and up to be our last event for 2009. Looking at the forecast the week before the event would have one questioning ones sanity. Jo, my wife, even went as far as suggesting that we scratch, stay home and stay dry. “Never”, I think was my reply, besides, the weatherman is usually wrong in my book. What does he know?


To say it rained at Dover this year would be an understatement. It rained, it blew, then it rained some more. Couple the rain and wind with temps in the mid 40’s and you’ve got yourself some miserable conditions. Oh and did I mention the wind, steady at 10-15, gusts 25 to maybe 30, everything had to be tied down. At times, I felt the entire operation was going to lift off and sail into space, fortunately for us, it did not.


My point here is, this was not fun. We set up in the rain, cooked in the rain, slept in the rain, walked to the bathrooms in the rain, tore down in the rain, well, you get the picture. It even rained Sunday and Monday following the contest. The first dry day was Tuesday where things could be spread out to dry.


Now, don’t get me wrong. We made the best of the circumstances, but to say that this was an enjoyable weekend would be like saying it is fun to stand around in the same damp clothes for 2 days, fun, it ain’t. My question is, when would a forecast be dismal enough to say, “we aren’t going, we’re going to sit this one out”. I guess I will answer my own question, never. We like to cook too much, we enjoy the camaraderie, the friendship, the competition, if we are signed up for an event, we are going, no matter what. Some might say we have more heart than brains, and you know, I think that some would be right. Nevertheless, 81 teams braved the elements and cooked their hearts out in the rain at Dover this year and we were proud to be one of the field. The field, by the way, contained some of the premier teams from all around the Country, some from as far away as Texas and California.


The who are those guys? team finished the year with a 16th place overall finish at the Diamond State BBQ contest, nothing to scream about, but somewhat respectable considering the competition. And even though it took a week or so to dry out all of our equipment, we are all looking forward to next April when the BBQ season begins around these parts with the Pork in the Park contest at Winterhaven Park, Salisbury MD. Let’s just hope that it is a sunny weekend!

The Turn-in Window

10 minutes seems like forever…or does it?


If you think back to when you were in high school and the clock on the wall said there were10 minutes until dismissal, sometimes it almost seemed like time was going backwards. At the very least, it certainly seemed like time was standing still. In a KCBS BBQ contest you have a window of 10 minutes, 600 seconds, in which to submit your entry to the judges. To the non contestant, I am sure this seems like plenty of time. Most times it is, sometimes it’s just not enough.


The importance of time is stressed to the BBQ teams from the moment you decide to enter a contest. Most events require entry forms be submitted by a deadline date. When the information packet is sent to the head cooks, they are told what time to arrive on site, the times for the cooks meeting, when meat will be inspected, when turn-ins begin, even when you are allowed to leave for home. While at the cooks meeting, the contest reps again go over turn-in times, when they begin, how long they are open, when they end. Also present at the meeting is the official contest clock. The time is shown to all present in case anyone would like to synchronize their watches. Although in today’s world of cell phones and atomic clocks, synchronizing wrist watches is just about a thing of the past.


At most contests, the reps will stop around at each site on Saturday morning with the official contest clock in tow; again, so that the teams can make sure they know exactly what time will be used to determine the all important ‘turn-in’ window. The point of all this, everyone knows what time it is on Saturday morning at a BBQ contest. Now, if I can digress, knowing what time it is and completing a multitude of tasks within a certain timeframe are not the same.


It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen, teams receive a DQ for a late turn-in. A person on the outside looking in might say “how can that be?”…those on the inside know, “oh, it be”. While at a contest, I am constantly amazed how fast time moves. Early Saturday morning it seems like you have forever to get things done, things are relaxed, folks are shuffling about. Perhaps, many are suffering from a little bit too much merry making the night before, maybe some are just not morning people, I believe most think things are completely under control. For me, it is up early to get the ribs on, check the big meats, maybe grab some breakfast. Before I know it, its time to get the chicken started.


Now, I think I need to mention here, due to my own madness, my chicken cook has expanded into a 2.5 hour process. This procedure has severely limited me on any and all relaxation that might be available on Saturday morning at a contest. No matter how hard I try, it seems that as the magic time of 11:55 approaches, I am always behind were I should be. Being behind is not a good thing. I hustle, bustle, poke and prod all in an attempt to get the chicken into the box at a decent time. What is the optimum time you ask? I try to shoot for 12:00 on the nose. For whatever reason, it seems I always enter into the backside, (the last 5 minutes), of the window. Depending on how far our site is located from the judges’ tent, the backside of the window is not a good place to be. However, it seems I am always stuck in the backside, of the turn-in window that is!


Once we enter into the backside of the chicken window, it seems like we can never get out. We will be rushed and behind all day. I look up at the clock and know we have 25 minutes to get the rib box ready, more than enough time. I have a minute or two to relax, yea right. The next time I glace at the clock, it is 12:20 and my ribs are still spread about the cutting board. I look again after applying the finishing touches to the ribs and again we are right there in the backside, once again. Only this time, we’re stuck a little deeper.


The pork box for me is one of the most time consuming that we have and I can’t explain why. We don’t do all that well in pork; it just takes me a long time to prepare a mediocre pork box. Having to rush the box as a result of our presence in the backside surely doesn’t help. At this point I have stopped even looking at the clock and am relying on my teammates shouting out the time remaining until the lid must be closed. Our team runner usually whispers gently to me when I am in the backside of the backside for the pork turn-in. If you believe that one, I have a bridge to sell you.


Our brisket box usually assembles fairly quickly. Most of our time here is spent trying to determine which slices we will submit. Some times, the choice is made for us as a result of the contest submission being the best of the worse. Other times, we actually have to decide which we like better, and that is a good thing. The other time wasting issue I have found during the brisket portion of the contest is trying to find someone to help me taste and sample the cuts. Usually by now, no one on the team wants to put a piece of BBQ’ed meat into their mouths, no matter how small. Eventually, we get it done and the box goes in, hopefully on time.


For us, if we get behind early, we stay behind. If our 1st box goes in on time, we usually stay on schedule, with emphasis on the word usually. At a contest, every once in a while, you’ll hear that a team was DQ’ed for a late submission. In other words, getting stuck deep in the backside. You can see how it can happen, just don’t let it happen to you. Whatever you do, take whatever measures are available to avoid being late, after all, you’ve got 600 seconds!

Keystone BBQ Classic, Oct 2-3 2009, Harrisburg PA

A shocker……….


While on the way home from New Holland, sitting on a butt-dougnut, nursing a sore rear from the spanking that we just received, I got a call from teammate Bobby. He was traveling home with Al and they had a conversation about what they felt was our dismal showing at the Summer Fest. They had an idea, why don’t we sign up for the contest in early October just up in Harrisburg PA. See if we could turn things around a bit, blow the stink off so to speak.


Keep in mind; these are two guys that have made rumblings about next season cutting back on the number of contests we are currently cooking. Was I hearing them correctly, they wanted to sign up for an addition event, one that wasn’t already on the schedule. “But that is only two weeks before Dover,” I said, as I have heard complainants in the past about the short time between Bel Air and New Holland. “We know, see if you can get us in” was the reply, talk about a shocker.


A search around the net, a few emails and before I knew it I was inking a check and sending it off to Harrisburg PA. Erich was already committed to a family obligation and would have to miss the show but it looked like everyone else was in. This first weekend in October was a busy one for BBQ teams, The Royal in Kansas City and a contest down in Front Royal Virginia would be pulling the teams in different directions.


Al and I met early Friday morning then drove north to Harrisburg. The contest was being held in conjunction with a livestock show that had been going on all week. The organizers had us set up on the front lawn of the huge farm complex. Level sights, free ice and clean indoor toilets made this set-up one of the best of the year. Twenty-two teams had signed up to cook in this second year contest. This was the first year the event was sanctioned by KCBS and it had been designated as a State Championship, meaning that the winner would qualify for consideration for entry to next years Royal and Jack Daniels invitational in Lynchburg.


Friday’s weather threatened all day but never rained. We had a few showers after dark, nothing too long or heavy, not bad at all. By midnight, the showers had quit and the nearly full moon was struggling to make an appearance. The cookers were lit; the meat was loaded, so far without a hitch.


Saturday morning broke with a beautiful sunrise, the rain was gone and it seem like all was well. Little did we know, the now famous BBQ gremlins had sent a squad into town during the night while we slept. I had figured that we may not see them this weekend with so many other contests going on, I thought they’d be spread too thin and not have the manpower, or the interest to cover a second year event in the capitol city of Pennsylvania. Boy, was I wrong.


As I reported earlier, Lettuceman Erich was unable to join us this weekend. Jo jumped in and did a fine job preparing the boxes, so that wasn’t the problem. The problem was, we were a man down. I have said in the past how well the team was working together and I meant it. Everyone has settled in and knows what has to be done and when. Very few directions, instruction, or requests have to be made or given. Stuff just gets done. When you remove a wheel from the cart, the cart still moves forward, it just wobbles a bit.



Let’s just leave it at that, our cart was wobbling with the absence of lettuceman Erich. Several times during the morning’s activities, Jo commented that I needed to lighten up, relax, get some mojo working. Our usually good mojo apparently was on vacation with Erich and his family just north of us in the Poconos. It just seemed like we couldn’t get anything right. We struggled, I cussed, the morning moved on. Its amazing how what seems like a very small issue can be turned into a mountain when accentuated by a short tempered fat guy swearing and tossing things about, most times un-necessarily.


One of the lighter moments of the morning even got a chuckle from Mr Doom and Gloom, yours truly. I have been sporting a new look the last three contests, a straw hat. The headgear has been worn at both Bel Air and New Holland without a lot of comment. (very unusual) All of the sudden this weekend, I was receiving sharp barbs and insults in reference to my new skyzoo, of which; I was becoming very fond of. I removed my hat when taking off my apron to make a dash to the rest room during the mornings prep work and wouldn’t you know it, when I returned, I couldn’t locate my new friend. I got busy with other things and figured I had misplaced the hat and it would turn up later. After a long and unfruitful search, I finally spotted my straw hat clipped to the upper support bar of the canopy, out of reach without a ladder, pretty funny. Of course, no one in the site had any idea how it got there, amazing. Maybe the work of the gremlins.


Turn-ins complete, the trailer packed, we sauntered over for the 4:00 awards ceremony which began on time. I ranked our boxes after submission, ribs, brisket, pork, then chicken. The judges were pretty close. We first received a call for 5th place for our submission of chili made from a 4.5 # hunk of Bologna given to each team by the contest sponsor. Chicken, I didn’t think we’d have a chance, 5th place. Next was ribs, 2nd place, pork (usually our anchor) 2nd place, brisket 3rd place. Bobby was standing next to me and looked over, he leaned in to say something, my head was swimming, I uttered something like “don’t count your chickens”, (notice the inevitable reference to my fine feathered friend). Reserve Champion goes to Flying Porkers, who were last years winner. Grand Champion honors go to”who are those guys?” wow, to say I was happy would be an understatement. We let out a war hoot and went as a group to collect our trophy. Pretty cool. A shocker for sure. Gremlins be dammed.


This was our third year as a team. During our short time on the competition trail we have gotten a few calls and even gotten close to a grand a couple of times. Actually collecting a grand championship trophy was a first for our team and truly an amazing experience. I couldn’t have done it without my teammates, Al, Bobby, Erich and Jo, and for that I say thanks. Icing on the cake was my Mother and Father were there at the awards to see us get the win. Mom told me before the awards that she had a good feeling, I guess she was right. The only thing that could have made it any better would have been if Erich could have been there. Today is Thursday, 5 days since our walk, and the first day that my feet have even been close to the ground, a shocker for sure, one I am sure we won’t soon forget.

New Holland Summer Fest 8/28-8/29 New Holland PA

From 1st to 67th in 12 short months
Excuses….I aint got.


In case you don’t remember, last year at this contest we took 1st place in pork ribs. Our score was a 174.857, not bad considering 180 is a perfect score. Our rib score was the highest score out of any of the four KCBS categories for the 2008 Summer Fest. As the old saying goes, that was then, this is now.


The weatherman spoke more and more about showers for the weekend as the days preceding the event rolled on. I am not even mentioning the tropical storm / hurricane that was also cruising around out in the Atlantic threatening to head further east and raise a little heck. The tropical disturbance stayed well out to sea, so much for using that as an excuse. Nevertheless, the team and I took off late Thursday afternoon for the short drive up to beautiful Lancaster County. This was a first for our squad, loading into a contest site on Thursday evening, and I have to tell you, it won’t be the last.


We arrived around 6 PM and got the entire site set up before dark. It was great, no crowds, plenty of room. Erich and I stopped and bought 2 dozen live large blue crabs, Al brought along some fresh sweet corn and tomatoes, we grilled some burgers and steamed the crabs, man, did we have a feast. It was nice hangin out without the inevitable pressure that a contest brings. There were a few other early arrivals, so we had a bit of a party. It was fun, not that a contest isn’t fun, it was just nice to be able to visit, hangout and kibitz without the worry that comes with cooking a highly competitive contest.


The evening weather threatened a few times, but over all it was very pleasant. We all hit the sack and had a great nights sleep. The morning found the entire park alive with newly arriving teams, working to get into place. Meanwhile the WATG? crew ambled off and took in a little breakfast at a nearby eatery, nice. I think I really like this early arrival stuff. So much for the excuse that I arrived at the contest late and had to rush my trimming and prep work, ahh, no big deal, I am sure I can still come up with a good one.


It began to rain around 7 AM Friday morning and continued on and off for most of the day. The intensity varied and some teams had to set up in a bit of a downpour. We had to make a few sidewall adjustments but overall stayed pretty dry throughout the entire weekend. Friday night found our team dining on homemade spaghetti, salad and fresh baked bread, wow, one thing is for sure, we sure eat well at these events. The precipitation did put a bit of a damper on the evening social activities. I find I really enjoy visiting with the other cooks and wondering around the contest grounds on Friday night. Folks had to make their site rainproof to avoid getting wet, they really didn’t lend themselves to being open for visitors. Everyone sort of just hunkered down, the Friday night visiting certainly suffered. Scratch the excuse that the head cook got too drunk wondering around the park yik yaking with the other cooks, I’m going to have to look a little deeper, this is not going to be easy.


The really heavy rain began sometime just before dark on Friday and continued on until after 1 AM. I would like to be able to use cooker performance related to the weather as an excuse, but the fact is, our cookers were lit, loaded and cooked without so much as a bump in the road. So much for that one. Several members of our team spent the night in their trucks due to the heavy rain. I took a short nap in my new zero gravity chair inside the trailer within eyesight of the cookers. Not a problem all night.


The meats went on and came off with relative ease. We had no real problems, just enough issues to keep the boogieman away. Last years Saturday morning grease fire did not repeat itself, no complainants about that. Overall the morning went well, this contest includes 2 additional categories which we were planning to enter, resulting in a very long morning of turn-ins 11:30-2:00, not quite a marathon, but longer than usual.


After everything thing was in, we talked amongst ourselves during the inevitable product review. I rated our boxes from best to worst, chicken, brisket, pork, then ribs. I liked the taste of the ribs; I just wasn’t satisfied with the way they went into the box. Out of all six boxes, we were running the closest on time with our rib submission. I felt it just didn’t look right. Our pork, well I don’t even want to get started on that one, never our strong suit, some thought it was the best looking pork box yet, For me, we had better taste in Bel Air. Oh well, it was in the hands of the judges. Time would tell bad they really were.


While my top flight team mates broke down and packed the site, I ran up to the upper end of the contest grounds to help a couple of local boys from our neighborhood who were cooking a whole hog in their first contest ever. They had done a great job cooking the entry and just needed a little guidance getting it into the turn-in box. Their meat looked and tasted really good and when they were finished with the box, it looked like it had a real good chance of scoring well, and they had done all the work themselves, who ever said contest cooking was difficult. Perhaps I could blame my rib score on my preoccupation with preparing the whole hog box. That might have worked if, IN FACT, I had done anything to help them boys get that pig into the box. Truth be told, they did most of it themselves, oh well, back to the drawing board. I am sure I can come up with something.


The rain stopped and the sun came out just in time for the awards ceremony in the center of the park. A cup of Lapps homemade ice cream was a welcome snack after a weekend spent in the BBQ smoke. We cheered our friends and even took a few walks ourselves. It wasn’t until after the score sheets were distributed before we knew how bad it really was. Right there in black and white, who are those guys? 67th place ribs. And this was in a in a 72 team field. My buddy Dan from 3 Eyz would say, look at the bright side, we beat 5 teams. Me, I couldn’t see a bright side on this one even if I wasn’t the huge pessimist that my wife claims I am. Addition low lights would be 51st place pork and 31st place overall.


We had traveled from 1st to 67th place in the rib category in one years time. A journey I wouldn’t recommend, even to my worst enemy. As for an excuse, being an avid deer and waterfowl hunter, I am usually never at a loss when it comes to this department. But here on an August day in New Holland, I am excuse-less, without excuse. I thought about some of the old standbys, ‘too windy’, ‘the sun was in my eyes’, or how about, ‘the judges don’t know what they are doing’. The truth of the matter is, I screwed up the ribs and am going to try damn hard not to let it happen again, I only have myself to blame. Maybe a little influence by the now famous BBQ gremlins who rumor has it were spotted in the area disguised as Amish and Mennonite farmers.


In all of the doom and gloom and attempted excuse fabrication I almost forgot to touch on the few highlights of this weekends contest. We had a great time hanging out together on Thursday night. The overall cook went fairly well. The team, again, worked flawlessly together. The hospitality shown by Melvin and his dedicated band of contest organizers makes it easy to see why this contest has become the favorite of many teams and judges on the KCBS circuit, including ours. Oh, and we took 3rd in sausage and 1st place in chicken with a score of 175.4288, again, the highest score for any of the 4 KCBS contest meats. Not too bad for a guy that has about 10,000 hours invested into his chicken cooking methods. I hope I don’t repeat the same slide in my chicken scores when it comes time for the next Summer Fest.


I think I’ll run down to the supermarket this morning, I saw where spareribs are on sale this week, maybe I’ll grab a case or two and do a couple of practice cooks. I wonder if anyone in the neighborhood likes ribs.........

Maryland BBQ Bash- 8/14-8/15 2009

Things are running way too smooth…………



I tossed, turned, fretted and worried during the weeks leading up to the BBQ Bash. What would be the reaction to my blanket e mail informing folks that we would not be hosting the much anticipated party Friday night in Bel Air. Would I be shunned, scorned, stoned, or run out of town on a rail. The answer was none of the above. The overall reaction was that of understanding, support and well wishes. Gee, what a swell group of friends.

Jo and I took the trailer for the short drive to Bel Air Thursday evening and dropped it into our spot. Several teams were already on site while the set up crews were busy erecting fences, placing vendors and exhibitors. Friday was a scheduled day off for me. Al, Jo and I arrived at the site around 9 AM to begin to get things set up. In no time we had the site organized and were working on trimming the meats. Meat trimming went off without a hitch and we even had time to sit a spell and enjoy a bit of people watching. If you have never been to this contest and are in the area, it is a great venue with two day crowd totals over 20,000, meaning there are plenty of people to watch.

It was a beautiful summer evening, warm with a light breeze, couldn’t have been much better. We had some folks stop by, most hung around for a while then went on their way, certainly not any type of a distraction. By 8:30 or so, most folks cleared out and we were free to light the cookers and get things ready for the all night session that was ahead. Dean Ayers of Pork & Deans BBQ fame organized a team dinner for 9:00 Friday night. The spread that was put down was unbelievable. Many said that had never seen so much of a selection at a cooks dinner. What a feed.

Around 11:30 we took a walk around the contest and found most sites quiet and most cooks horizontal. A bit unusual, but not unheard of. We returned to our site and found our cooker purring along, topped her off with charcoal, then bedded down for the night. Wow, we might even get some sleep. I sat in my new zero gravity chair placed in front of the Tallboy and slept with one eye open. The Guru alarm never sounded the entire night, the cooker was dead on temp, no muss, no fuss.

Daybreak found the who are those guys? crew loading the ribs into the smoke. The big meats were on schedule and began to make their way onto the Cambro to be held until turn-in. The contest organizers put out a very nice continental breakfast that as far as I knew, had been previously unannounced. We noshed on bagels, muffins and sweet buns while our big meats finished their cook, right on schedule. The sauces were made, the chicken was prepped, so far, no problems, not even a hiccup. I even had time for a little late morning walk about. While drifting around exchanging pleasantries, in the back of my mind I was thinking, man, what would I give for some type of a problem. Not a big one, but something to knock the shine off of this morning and get us more focused.

I stopped by and wished my friends Dan & Jason with 3 Eyz BBQ good luck. Dan asked the inevitable question, “hows it going?” I proceeded to tell him the morning was running like a finely tuned engine, no problems, no troubles. As I railed on I could see the apprehension in Dan’s expression as I am sure he could hear the trepidation in my voice. Dan just stood there, shaking his head, “kiss of death” he was heard to say, “why don’t you go over there and cut yourself or drop something heavy on your foot, there is still time!”. We both had a good laugh, but deep down, I knew he was right.

I returned to the site to begin the chicken cook, again, the procedure was on auto pilot. My friend and cooking instructor Tom Meyer was joining us as a guest member on the team for this contest. He was a big help and jumped in like he had been prepping boxes all along. It seemed like the boxes went together without problems, although, we did venture into the backside of the turn-in window on several occasions, we never were really rushed.

Our stuff was in, we had no issues, no fights, no yelling, no disagreements, something just wasn’t right. I wasn’t very happy with what we sent to the judges, but that is another story. I ranked our submissions, pork, chicken, brisket, then ribs. After reviewing the results, I wasn’t far off. We did not get a call to the stage, at this contest; they call the top 8 spots. We finished 7th overall. We were the highest overall finish without a call to the stage. The next overall placement without a call was 16th. No complainants, just a good, solid, consistent cook, just no dingers, no homeruns. Its like we are hitting doubles, some triples, we are reliable, but can’t hit the long ball.

Rest assured, we will keep swinging, watching game film, practicing and working on our game. I don’t think we are far off, at least I hope we are not. What I am fairly certain of, another trouble/issue/problem free cook occurring during one of our remaining two contests for this year is not likely. Mr. Murphy, a longtime lurker throughout my entire life, will not permit that to happen. On the outside chance that he is asleep on the job, I know the gremlins are laying in wait just around the corner, just waiting for the chance to spring into action.

The Bel Air Quandary

Between a rock and a hard place


Regular readers of this blog and friends of ours will know that the Bel Air BBQ Bash is our home contest. Located in the town of Bel Air, it is only about ten minutes from my home. This year will mark 5 years for me at this event counting the 2 years I cooked the Tailgater Challenge on Friday night. Each year I have cooked the event, I have asked a few folks to drop by and visit. The team whips up some extra grub for our guests and it usually turns into a great evening. Needless to say, the guest list has grown over the years due to my extra large claptrap. After the 2007 contest, which included a large crowd of folks on Friday evening, the team threatened mutiny at first, but later softened on their position and let me alone for 2008. Not really voicing a yea or nea.


That was until last year. By our calculations, we had about 150 visitors to our 20x20 site on Friday night, and that was just the people I could remember. The evening went off very well due to the team chipping in and we had plenty of food. But to say that it was a bit distracting, especially when the real reason we are there at all is to cook a BBQ contest, is a bit of an understatement. To say I have heard plenty of mutinous talk since that fine evening last August, would also be an understatement. It all came to a head last month while we were in Green Lane Pa, it was there that I was read the riot act and told if I was planning on a repeat performance, I would be flying solo. This time I think they mean business, I could see it in their eyes.


Since that night, I have spent many hours pondering the situation. The worse part is, I think I have to agree with the team, as much as it pains me to do so. It has become distracting, with all of the prep and site work involved in competing in a contest, added together catering a party for 150 people, and you’ve got a heck of a lot of work to do. Last year, we still had a full site after 10:00 pm as we were working to get our big meats into the cooker. Very distracting. It is almost a stretch when you try and call cooking in a BBQ contest ‘fun’, but add in a Friday night catering gig on the same weekend and you’ve got what I call a lot of work to do. Sort of takes what little fun is there and puts it into kibosh mode.


As you can see, I have quite a quandary on my hands. The question is not should I still have the Friday night party complete with beer and a buffet line, I have pretty much decided on nixing the food and drink for Friday. The question is, what I tell all of the friends and family that have come to enjoy the evening of socializing in the streets of Bel Air each year at the BBQ Bash. Many of whom, have been stopping by since my days in the Tailgater.


My teammates seem to have come up with a very good solution. Since the contest is so close, we all have a fairly short drive, why not tell folks to stop in on Saturday, after turn-ins and sample some of the competition food. We always have plenty of food; the festival itself runs till Saturday night, sounds like a good idea to me. I realize this would be a first for the WATG? team. Usually, we are all buttoned up before the awards and bug out just as soon as they are over. But I think the idea is a win win. The visitors will get some good grub and we can concentrate on cooking the contest.


Those that know me know I like to have a good time. The past Friday nights at the Bash have been a blast, the team and I will all admit. If you look at the time and money that is committed to cooking a contest, suddenly, the thought of a Friday night party starts to loose its luster, especially to the guys on the team. So, I am thinking of sending out an email explaining the change in what has become a summer tradition and see what happens. I think the team and I will plan on slipping out after the cooks meeting and eating dinner at one of the watering holes in the town of Bel Air. That way, we will avoid having folks dropping in while we are trying to eat.


Saturday afternoon, after turn-ins and awards, we will all be dining on some mighty-fine BBQ products, sitting back and relaxing, just like it was Friday night, only without the pressure. Wait a minute, on Saturday afternoon I have trouble sneaking up on a plate of BBQ, oh well, that much more for the guests, maybe I will just send out for a pizza.

Beltway BBQ Showdown, June 13-14 2009

‘The Fire Marshal’ Fact or Fiction


The third annual Beltway BBQ Showdown was scheduled for Saturday Sunday June 13 2009 at the Prince Georges County Equestrian Center located in Upper Marlboro Maryland. Three years ago, this was the first ever KCBS contest that we ever cooked, there were 15 teams that year. This year, contest organizer Jonathan Jones has grown the event to include 47 teams. The contest was to be held on Sat/Sun, a first for our team. The good thing is no one had to take a day off of work for the contest. The bad news is, there would be no day of rest before heading back to work on Monday.


A contest week e mail from the organizer noted that all tents, tarps, and Ezy-ups had to be rated fire retardant, (you must present certification from the manufacturer), no alcoholic beverages could be brought into the contest grounds, and all glass bottles were strictly prohibited. Needless to say, this last minute declaration of these various rules, regulations and edicts was met with quite the backlash on the numerous BBQ forums that I occasionally visit. PDF files of flame retardant certifications were sent about along with scanned copies and web addresses for those that were searching for even more info. Dan from 3 Eyz even volunteered to dispose of anyone’s unwanted alcoholic beverages if they were accidentally brought to the contest grounds. I am sure he was only interested in keeping fellow BBQers out of trouble with the long arm of the law. Sort of like jumping on the grenade, so to speak, what a guy.


The equestrian center is used weekdays this time of year to host area high school graduations. The contest grounds had been pressed into service as an overflow parking area the week before the event was to be held. The weather leading up to the scheduled weekend consisted of thunder showers and storms almost every evening. As you well know, wet, grass fields, cars and large amounts of rain usually do not go well together. I spoke to Jonathon earlier in the week and was told the field had become a bit greasy. He assured me he was on it, time would tell.


The forecast for the weekend was for a slight chance of showers or thunder showers, I think like 30%. The up side was, that is 70% chance of no rain, and I like those odds. Besides, we had not had rain at a contest yet, why start now. Friday night I loaded the trailer with all of my uncertified flame attracting canopies along with 3 cases of long neck Corona bottles for the two day cook down in PG County. After all, who can cook BBQ without drinking a beer? I know I can’t, well, its not that I cant, its more like I wont. And I figured, if my canopies caught fire, I could dose the flames with cold Corona.


When we arrived on site around 10 AM on Saturday morning we were greeted by Jonathan himself. All around the contest grounds mixed in with the teams already set up were trucks, equipment, and workers busy spreading, raking, tamping and rolling. It looked like ants on an anthill, everyone moving about, getting it done. I wonder if one of those guys is the Fire Marshal?


We were assigned a spot, were given some instructions, and began to set up. Everyone was there this weekend and we had my neighbor Tony Melvin along for the ride. Tony is a Quer that has recently, along with his wife, become a KCBS certified BBQ judge. Tony was interested in seeing the contest from the perspective of the cooking teams. I hoped this experience wouldn’t scare him away.


We set up in record time and had just sat down to relax a minute when Big Jon, the organizer pulled up with some County official in his golf cart, (not the Fire Marshal), and asked if we would please adjust our setup to move the cooking area. The Fire Marshal himself would be by later and wanted all of the cookers in a certain spot. With reluctant enthusiasm and a few select comments mumbled, the gang pulled together and rearranged the entire site to accommodate the wishes of the yet to be seen Marshal. Who was this guy with all of this power, Matt Dillon?


After we set up for the second time, we began our prep work which came off like clockwork, in fact, we were finished early. Perhaps we finished so quickly because some very threatening clouds were bearing down on us and several nearby folks said the radars on their phones looked like we were going to get drenched. No matter, everything was prepped and in the cooler in record time. We sat around and even had time for a quick nap. We dined on fried crab cakes and enjoyed a beautiful evening listing to a great blues band brought in to play for the cooks. The grounds were not open to the public on Saturday, so the music was for our ears only, and it was good, what a night. The storm cloud had passed and it appeared we had dodged the bullet. Still, no sign of the Fire Marshal.


I have never met a Fire Marshal. In my mind, I am picturing a guy in a department issued turn-out coat, rubber boots, and a fire helmet with a huge star in the center. He even has a star pinned to his coat. The guy is cruising the contest grounds in a beefed up golf cart, painted red of course, complete with a full light bar and siren set up. On the front and back of the cart, are various extinguishers and assorted other fire fighting apparatus. I am thinking, this guy, who ever he is, is carrying a large 3 ring notebook containing all of the local ordinances and regulations. Attached to the front of the binder is a smaller citation booklet used to cite offenders and scofflaws. I think that this is a misconception, but am not sure, having never met one in person, at least, not yet.


The early evening was not completely uneventful. As Big Jon ventured past out site yet again, this time with some other County Official riding shotgun, he again stopped at our site. “George” he began,” “you are really letting me down”, my pea brain, thinking this was a set up line from Jonathan, as he usually has a great sense of humor on display at all times, replied, “hows that?” “Remember that e mail I sent about the glass bottles and the alcoholic beverages?” Jon inquired. Now it began to make sense, this must be the Glass or the Beer Marshal. Me being the quick speaking without thinking, slow witted fat man that I am, replied like any beer drinking BBQ cook worth his weight in brisket would, “there is not a drop of beer in our site!”


Now it was all making sense, Jonathan was putting on a show for the Beer Marshal, showing how he was enforcing the rules on this unruly gang of BBQ cooks, and he wanted my help. I knew I was safe, cause back at the site the gang was all using can/bottle coolers or cups, there wasn’t a visable open container to be found. The Marshal glared at me with disgust,. “there is a bottle right over there on your table”. She might as well finished her statement with the thought that she had, “you jackass you”. Busted cold. This wasn’t a good sign; could the elusive Fire Marshal be far behind?


After dinner, a fine cigar, a few beers in glass bottles, (the Beer Marshal let me off with a warning and the promise that we would not open another can or bottle of beer until after dark), no rain, no Fire Marshal, this was going to be alright after all. Along about midnight, just as we were preparing to nest up for the night, the air got that feel, and we started to see a good bit of lightning. The cookers were over the required 10’ away from my non flame retardant canopies. We use a Guru, which is an electric fan and controller on our Caldera Tallboy. I am no electrician, but I do know that water and electric parts do not go well together. What if we were to move the 8X8 canopy over the cookers to keep them dry? What if the Fire Marshal came by? Did they work second and third shifts? Most fireman I know do.


What the hell, we had already violated 2 out of 3 of the last minute rules. I no longer had any credibility with Jonathan or the Beer /Glass Marshal. Why not go for the tri-facta? Boys, grab a corner. As we carried the canopy to the cooking area, I felt like I was being watched. Was the FM out there watching, waiting, for his chance to pounce, citation book at the ready. I felt that if he were to appear, we wouldn’t walk away with a stern warning this time, we were going down.


It wasn’t long before it was pouring cats, dogs, chickens and pigs. No long after it started, the large amounts of rain, which had no where to go on the large very flat, freshly graded and packed dirt and gravel field, began to puddle and pool up. We had a class 3 stream moving through our site at the height of the storm and about a 3 acre pond when it was all over. Not to worry, we dug a trench with our charcoal shovel and drained all our water onto our neighbors the 3 Eyz BBQ team. What are neighbors for? Besides, I figured the heavy rain and swift moving water would keep the Marshal away.


We planned to move the cover back away from the cookers as soon as the rain stopped, but forgot. The next morning came and went, still no visit, the canopy remaining in clear violation, as if I was actually baiting him, and in a way I was. I wanted him, the big time Fire Marshal, the one that made all the fuss, to come out, to show his face. Come out in your hopped up golf cart with your siren blazing, just like on the TV show COPS, and move in for the capture. Maybe, they could even have a film crew following on foot, or better yet, filming from a circling chopper as the FM moved in and took us out for violating the fire code. For a moment, I thought I could here a muted chorus of ‘Bad Boys” drifting in the wind.


But alas, it was not to be. There was no visit from the Fire Marshal; he would not take the bait. Does he exist? I really don’t know. Perhaps, he is just a legendary figure, like Paul Bunyon, or Davey Jones, used to scare folks into submission. What I do know for sure is, Jonathan and his crew of hard working County employees worked long and hard for the entire time that we cooks were on site to make sure everyone had what they needed and to try to improve the condition of everyone’s site. Overall, I think they did a fine job, and I look for this contest to continue to grow and improve.


Congrats to our friends 3 Eyz BBQ for taking the Grand Championship trophy home, along with top prize in both chicken and ribs. Kenny, Bob, Fred and the BBQ Guru were reserve Grand Champs and took 1st place honors in pork. Chris Capel and the Dizzy Pig boys won brisket and were 3rd over all. The ‘who are those guys?’ team were called to the stage twice, for chicken and ribs and were 4th overall. It has been since May of last year since we have received a chicken call, I hope the trend continues.


The best part of the weekend was standing next to Dan Hixon from 3 Eyz BBQ during the awards ceremony. After collecting two firsts along with a 4th place brisket, it was more or less assumed by the crowd on hand that Dan and the 3 Eyz crew would walk for GC. The announcer called the BBQ Guru for reserve as the suspense built. Then, they decided while they had everyone’s undivided attention, to make a public service announcement, thank a few folks for doing a fine job, and draw the events winning raffle ticket. The raffle winner, who was not immediately available, was called to the stage several times as Big Dan Hixon quietly took the gas pipe while waiting for the naming of the eventual winner. It seemed like forever, but I know it was only a few minutes, I sure it seemed like hours to my friend Dan. Finally, he got the call and took the walk, congratulations on a well deserved win.

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!

BBQ News now available on line.


For those that do not know and may be interested, (I realize of course I have severely limited my audience by including those that may be ‘interested’) I am now writing monthly columns in both the KCBS Bullsheet and the National BBQ News. The BBQ News is going to start an online paper and for now it is free. Check out the link below, turn to page 19, then click enlarge, check out the mug on that guy!!

http://www.server-jbmultimedia.net/NationalBarbecueNews/sitebase/index.aspx?area=doublepage&adgroupid=166787&pagenumber=1&view=double

You will have to copy and paste the above link to your browser, as I could not get the link to work.